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What would you do?

7 replies

Notinlalaland · 01/12/2019 20:59

We have an outstanding state secondary on doorstep where all of DDs friends are going. DD liked it but since then we’ve looked at an independent school which is 20 miles away (it’s a semi-selective). DD has spent a few days at the independent school and prefers it as it’s much smaller, seemed calmer, just liked the feel of it.
My worry with the state school was that DD would get lost in the crowd. She’s not outstanding or struggling, but middling. I think she would get more attention, nurturing at Indy. But would the travel (by school bus), distance from friends etc be an issue over the long term? Just don’t know what to do for best.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 01/12/2019 21:45

Chances are she will make new friends there and if she seems happy with it and you can afford it, I would send her.

user1497787065 · 01/12/2019 21:49

My son was exactly like your daughter but still managed to drift through an independent school neither shining or high achieving, neither struggling nor standing out as a trouble maker. Don't think they just because you are paying that it will be better.

Inebriati · 01/12/2019 22:39

If they get a better experience, surely that's better? DS found his failing, noisy, chaotic school extremely stressful even though he was popular.

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HollowTalk · 01/12/2019 22:46

She'd be unlikely to have local friends and 40 miles daily is a lot, isn't it? Think of the winter months and what would happen in the snow and ice.

Is there any chance of you moving nearer to that school?

Can you afford to send her to the independent school? Do you have other children?

Honeyroar · 01/12/2019 22:46

It sounds like the school is perfect for her, and she will make new friends. However bear in mind that all her friends, and activities she will want to join with them, will be 20 miles away. My stepson went to school 15 miles away from where we live (his mum lives nearby) and grew up with this situation. I often wished he had friends closer by (we tried to enroll him in nearby clubs so he’d make friends but he wanted to join where his friends were). We spent a lot of time driving him back and forward, and if we couldn’t take him he was sometimes bored/lonely.

Notinlalaland · 01/12/2019 22:58

Yes can afford to send her.
Have lots of local friends now but worries how easy it’ll be to maintain them. Only child so does get very bored and lonely unless with friends.
Almost wishing hadn’t shown her the private school.

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Notinlalaland · 01/12/2019 23:03

Moving home isn’t an option (it’s our dream house).

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