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Original poster

Am I a lazy/bad parent?

21 replies

Yellowbride · 01/12/2019 15:51

DH and I work FT. One DC aged 2. She spends her week at nursery doing a range of activities and at the weekend she (and we) are mostly tired and just want to spend time together. All my friends seem to constantly be at the park/soft play/country walks/and seasonal things like at the pumpkin patch or now at Santa’s grotto or Xmas fair etc.

We just don’t really do that. I thought DD was too young for a lot of activities but now worried that I’m just lazy.

Of course we take her to the park etc but we spend the majority of our time at the weekend relaxing and playing/reading at home.

We don’t live near family and no other children so wondered what other parents with a young child of this age are doing?

OP posts:

BedraggledBlitz · 01/12/2019 15:53

My tip is to avoid comparing yourself to other parents. If it works for you and your family, dont change it.

BlueGingerale · 01/12/2019 15:54

It’s absolutely fine. She’s probably tired from her week and is very happy pottering around with you.

Kids don’t need to be entertained constantly.

People go to stuff for their sake as much as the kids. Ie they don’t like puttering around and would prefer to be out and about.

But you like being home. So stay home!

takeittogo · 01/12/2019 15:55

No, definitely not lazy or bad!

There will be posts telling you you are doing exactly the right thing though and I do think it’s nice to do some things, as the window for cheap/free things to do is quite small. Pumpkin patches and swimming and library visits, museums and the park and farms are nice to do.

Interested in this thread?

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2 year olds Families

VisionQuest · 01/12/2019 15:57

Given that she's at nursery full time then I think it's fine. It's not like she spends the majority of time at home anyway.

I was always out and about with our child at that age but that was mostly due to the fact that he was a nightmare if we were in the house all day.

Just do whatever makes you happy/is easiest!

managedmis · 01/12/2019 15:57

Yeah that's fine

Wildorchidz · 01/12/2019 16:02

What you do is fine
And what your friends do is fine too

christmasathome · 01/12/2019 16:05

I feel you! I have been a 'lazy' parent for 12 years and its done my children no harm. I see others on Facebook and wonder when they relax, when they fo house work and when they watch tv!

Bluntness100 · 01/12/2019 16:10

It's not necessary. But i would also say it's nice to do stuff with her out and about, gets her some fresh air, she learns new things, sees new things, and has different kinds of fun, it's a bit sad if the only time she leaves rhe house is pretty much just to go to nursery and occasionally the park

We both worked full time, and as much as my husband was more proactive than me, with the park most weekends, we both would take her to fun things like Santa's grotto, toy shops, petting zoos, or even just to child friendly places to lunch etc, things she didn't get at nursery and a different kind of stimulation,

Bluntness100 · 01/12/2019 16:11

Sorry yes and I'd add, swimming lessons is an excellent one at this age if she's not already learned.

BillywigSting · 01/12/2019 16:19

Totally fine, this is basically what we did with ds.

He's in year 1 now and old enough to want to do /appreciate doing stuff like pumpkin patches and Christmas fairs now so we do one or two seasonal things a season. So trick or treating and blackberry picking in autumn, Santa's grotto and Christmas fair in winter etc.

But life is also easier now he's older so everyone has more energy to do these things every other weekend or once a month or whatever.

You just have to do what makes you and your family happy. If that's being out and about every day then that's great. If it's pottering around at home playing with Lego and watching tv that is equally fine.

Just remember comparison is the thief of joy.

user1493494961 · 01/12/2019 16:23

It's OK having some weekends at home but I agree with pp, I'd want to get out with her as well. Some good suggestions here for free or cheap activities (library, museum).

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 01/12/2019 16:24

I have friends like this. I tend to find their children are always tired. Children need down time.

Original poster

Yellowbride · 01/12/2019 16:32

Thanks for the feedback and the tips, some good suggestions there as oftentimes I think I find it hard to think of things to do with her that she’ll enjoy at this stage (not quite 2) and also that fit in with her nap. She is very tired at the weekend so will sleep for 2-3 hours in the afternoon and I feel she really needs this so we are somewhat restricted with time which is the other issue.

We are often out but it’s running errands (grocery shop, pharmacy, bank etc) but we do take her swimming regularly and then fun outing are occasional trips to the park, soft play or to visit friends but it’s not every weekend. She seems to enjoy the things we do with her - even small things like the laundry or putting away groceries so she’s engaged a lot, we don’t just lounge about, but my concern was that she should be doing more child orientated things - I look forward to her getting a little older so we can broaden the scope of things to do with her and as much as I enjoy her nap time, it is a big chunk of our day!

OP posts:

Yerbumsootthewindae · 01/12/2019 16:33

I like to do a bit of both - days out are lovely, but everyone needs down time and kids definitely need unstructured time, time to just play. Do what works for you!

Passthecherrycoke · 01/12/2019 16:37

At this age, nursery is doing a lot of this for you (she’s basically playing all week!) so don’t worry. You’re all busy and need to be kind to yourself.

We were in exactly the same situation when our first was 2. We did get out a lot at the weekend but that’s because I find small children difficult in the house and found she needed to be occupied. However apart from swimming and ballet classes what we mainly did was visit family, go out for lunch etc so quite low energy

Quicklittlenamechange · 01/12/2019 16:50

We always went out at least for the morning or in for the morning out in the afternoon.
Children and parents need fresh air and to run around not be cooped up all day.
It would drive me bonkers.
In the summer we would be outside all day.
My DC slept incredibly well !

riotlady · 01/12/2019 17:18

We’re the same! We do occasionally go to museums, soft play, etc but mostly we just go for a walk to the park or round to my mums. We like a chill day in the house.

Wildorchidz · 01/12/2019 17:19

Daily house stuff, running errands are all important for her to see and learn. Engage her in what you are doing at home.
When mine were toddlers they loved washing up, dusting, pairing off socks etc..

friedbeansandcheese · 01/12/2019 17:22

That sounds fine, OP. She obviously still needs her nap so enjoy that while you can! For my sanity I'd need some fresh air, though - perhaps in the morning?

When mine were toddlers they loved washing up, dusting, pairing off socks etc..
Sadly, @Wildorchidz, I can report that this phase does not last very long, so enjoy that while you can too!! 😂😂 In fact, my dd (16) has regressed, and now excels at unpairing socks and leaving everything on her floor. Darn it.

ilovethatshow · 01/12/2019 18:40

The friends of mine that always do stuff need to get out for themselves as much as the kids. We are a home body family and our Dc have brilliant imaginations and love playing/can entertain themselves fine just being at home. Most of these activities I find too much.

Crunchymum · 01/12/2019 19:05

There'll be many, many, many years of your DC moaning about being bored / actively needing to be entertained.

Make the most of cosy, low key weekends.

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