What age did your kids start to play in the street?

[Nogodsnomasters]

I am a self described helicopter mum based on the fact that my ds5 has anoxic reflex seizures mostly caused by minor injuries, sight of blood or shock of loud noise/scares, he is also diagnosed as high functioning autistic. He turned 5 in Sept and is in 1st year at school.

In April this year we moved to a new house in a lovely cul de sac and he's made friends with 2 boys in the street, one the same age and 1 aged 10 who has mild learning difficulties so is more on a level with them. They've both grown up on this street and are allowed to play outside. Up until now I've allowed him to play inside our garden or one of their gardens or inside the house but the other 2 are growing bored of this and he desperately wants to play in the street with them.

It's not a main road but there are of course cars that come in/out. And I've taught him road safety but I'm so worried that I'm not there to watch him in case of injury and therefore potential seizure.

Is he the right age or is he too young given the circumstances? My dh thinks I'm holding him back from his peers.

There is no 'right age', it's entirely dependent on the child/where you live. My NT child played out unsupervised from 7 as he's very sensible with good road sense. A friend of his the same age was nearer 10 as he had no impulse control or road sense. You're the only one who can decide if your child has the sensibilities to keep themselves safe.

Sounds too young to me regardless of any additional needs

I am the polar opposite of a helicopter mum in such matters, but even I think just 5 is too young. Add in the level of his needs and I think you would be irresponsible.

Thank you both for your answers, he hates the fact that the other boy is the same age as him and is allowed out in the street and is constantly begging to join in and I do wonder if I'm being too overbearing as my dh thinks I am. His cousin the same age is not allowed in the street however he lives near a main road so can understand that.

No way would I allow my DS to play on the streets at 5 years old, no matter how safe the area. I think that's irresponsible to be honest.

I think age 5 is too young. DD started playing out from age 8 without supervision at age 5 I’d have sat out the front and kept an eye on her if she wanted to play out.
We do have local kids who play our younger including 4&5 year olds but they have no road sense and one was very fortunate not to be seriously injured when they got hit by a car a couple of months ago.

Five is way too young to play out with no adult supervising.

Mine didn’t really play in the street but I did allow other gardens and the park. Don’t really see the need to play on the street and people still need to drive in cul de sacs etc so it’s not a play space.

Never. But I've never lived in a road like you describe. I can't imagine any road being safe enough for me to let my 5 year old play on though, no matter how quiet. Perhaps at 8?

Dd1 was allowed out in the street to play at 5. That was 22yrs ago.
Dd2 is 4, we also live in a quiet cul de sac. She is allowed in the front garden but not out on the street.

waxonwaxoff just want to point out it's not street's (plural) it's my cul de sac only, I wouldn't consider letting him out of the street itself.

Thanks everyone for all replies, confirms to me that my intuition is right.

I wasn't allowed beyond the drive until age 7 and that was with my sister who was 10. Alone and off the street was 10/11. Ihad RA seizures too

lemonprism did you out grow them? And if so do you mind me asking at what age?

My 7 year old ds started playing out on our safe, but large cul de sac this summer. We did a great walk around to check that he was aware of dangers like cars reversing out of drives.
I checked on him every ten minutes or so as not all of the close is visible from our house. I was surprised by the number of 4-6 year olds playing out for long periods of time and even one 3 year old.

My 7 y old youngest dc started playing out this summer. I have put a stop to playing with a certain little boy though who shouts, swears and gets scarily (to a child) aggressive but this has had the unfortunate and unintended consequence of stopping them playing with the other children out there and I'm not sure what to do about that.

Ds, who is almost 9, can play out (avoiding the aforementioned child) but often chooses not to (adhd with autistic features) and would rather play at home.

Never. We live in a very narrow road, with a dog leg bend. Cars taking their dear little kiddies to school use it as a rat run, even when school is closed. It's not safe

I have put a stop to playing with a certain little boy though who shouts, swears and gets scarily (to a child) aggressive but this has had the unfortunate and unintended consequence of stopping them playing with the other children out there and I'm not sure what to do about that.
I't hard isn't it. Since DD started playing out we've had to deal with a lot of arguments and general bad behaviour like other DC wanting to take all of her stuff or being mean and excluding her.
It's actually ended up being really positive because we've been able to talk about and practice different ways of dealing with bad behaviour and it's made her much more assertive and confident although we did have a lot of tears and angst on the way.

We lived on a very safe cul de sac and my kids played out from about five within the cul de sac and in and out of each other’s gardens. (Newbuild estate so loads of kids). I had a rule that they had to tell me if they were going in someone’s house or garden. Mostly there was a parent sitting outside keeping a casual eye.

We actually chose our house so that it would be safe for the kids to play out and there would be lots of other kids around. I think it’s good for them to have some freedom.

5 is too young

Mine were never allowed out to play in a street.
Our son had reflex anoxic episodes. He’s fine now and hasn’t had a moment for years. He’s in armed forces but wasn’t allowed down the pilot route because he is still 30% more likely to faint apparently.
Have you taught him the Valsalva manoeuvre to use as soon as he gets warning signs and feels queasy? It can raise the blood pressure back up if used at first signs of it dropping. He might be a bit young for it to work just yet.
I’ve lost count of the hours spent with him semi conscious on the side of a rugby field. Horrible to watch at the time, but they do grow out of it usually.

@gamerwidow That's what I keep trying to do with my dc. We talk about the difference between good friends and "frenemies" and about how to deal with certain situations and it's worked with the more reasonable children and, as you said, general bad behaviour. The boy I mentioned earlier though is much worse than that. He stands in the way and refuses to let my dc out of his garden and then comes banging and braying on our door demanding they go back and play or shouting at them for whatever he thinks they've done wrong. He even told me to fuck off and spat on our car when I sent him off with a flea in his ear. He's only 7 himself but has had a very difficult life and now spends most of his time with his grandparents, 3 doors down from us. He broke his hand this summer whilst playing with a hammer at home and wasn't taken to hospital. I can understand why he behaves like he does but I don't want my dc near him at all if it can be avoided.

@Nogodsnomasters children play out around here from younger than 5 but I don't think it's safe or appropriate at all so mine were 7 at least and they're only allowed to next door but 1's house. I always keep the window and door open so I can hear and keep an eye on them. At the moment, with it being so dark so early, they aren't really playing out at all.

cherrypavlova I've never heard of this manoeuvre! I must give it a Google and see if he'd be too young to understand it or not. He hasn't had a seizure in over a year but as you say "moments" have happened a few times in the year, I felt like this was him starting to outgrow the seizures and his body becoming better at coping with the shocks?