Teacher "reporting" to Santa

[Hairybauble]

I love DD7's teacher.

But she came home on Friday telling me that on Wednesday, three children (with suspected if not confirm ADHD) had been very, very naughty and that her teacher had written a letter to Santa about them and read it out to the whole class.

On Friday Santa "replied" - again this was read out to the whole class reminding these children to make good choices otherwise he wouldn't come and visit them.

I don't know if this strategy was cleared with the kids' parents, although I doubt it.

It didn't feel very kind to me - particularly to be read out in front of the whole class.

I am wondering if I need to raise this with the headteacher, or if I should just keep out of it. It is absolutely nothing to do with me, but it doesn't feel right.

That's not on and is a very bizarre way of managing behaviour in the classroom! What is she planning to do if the children continue to misbehave - tell the parents they cant get them anything for christmas? Never threaten something you can't follow through.

I wouldnt report her but might email her with my concerns.

I would speak to the teacher. I would not be happy with at all. In our house I have taken to emailing Santa Occasionally (I have become that parent) but only positive things. I wouldn't be happy with be singling out of children for negative reasons at all. It’s also an empty threat as she can’t follow through on it.

Yeah, that's shitty. Even if cleared with those parents.

I don't do FC with my children in part because I loathe the idea that if you are "bad" no one will remember to buy you presents on what is pretty much the biggest holiday of the UK year.

DD1 has started to come home from reception asking if she is naughty and what will happen at Christmas. I am not going to say anything but I think it's so sad that in the run-up to a lovely family celebration she is worrying.

Id be more concerned the teacher seems to have shared with a parent here that those children are being assessed for ADHD!!!!

Ive been known to tell students in december if they didnt improve their behaviour id have no choice but to inform santa. But they were year 10.

@CalleighDoodle I only know about suspected ADHD from talking with their parents - it's not something the school has shared.

I would have been very upset if it was my DD's behaviour that was discussed by the whole class.

I don't think I would feel comfortable approaching the teacher about something that's not really any of my business - so I guess if I was concerned about the teacher, then the head would be the escalation point, right?

Equally I don't want to stick my nose in if not warranted.

I'd imagine the letter was about/to the whole class and your DD just knows X, Y & Z are the 'naughty' children.

Ask any child who the naughty kids are in their class and they will give you a couple of names!

I'd just ask the teacher about the letter to Santa and see what she says.

@MrsBricks I asked DD7 about this and she was adamant that the letter to Santa was just about "Stevie", "Harrison" and "Shannon".

They are absolutely known as the naughty kids (with a couple of others to be fair), but DD said that the letter to Santa was just about these kids.

Good point re: not being able to follow through on threats too.

That’s just wrong.

I'd get the teacher's version before making complaints based on a 7 year old's description to be honest.

If someone with a disability is told to act as if they don't have it

they cant

If this is true then it's appalling.

This sort of shit is why so many neurodiverse children end up with mental health problems....

I think I would feel weird having a conversation with the teacher about other people's children.

I wonder if it would be better to speak to one of the parents of the children mentioned in the letter to Santa. They're not friends exactly but we're on polite conversation terms in the playground.

Am thinking the parents may not be aware this has happened.

No, gossiping with other parents wouldn't be better.

Making a complaint about the teacher wouldn't be better.

Being a grown-up and actually speaking to the teacher is the thing to do

You don't have to have a conversation about other people's children - just say to the teacher "DD was telling me about a letter from Santa, what was it about?" and see what she says.

Definitely worth speaking to a teacher and finding out. DS has ADHD and has at times thought of himself as a ‘naughty child’. He had a complete meltdown at the age of 6, before he was diagnosed, before going to see Santa because he was sure he’d be on the bad list. Santa threats can be really counterproductive.

Shaming children is not good practice.

It's really fucking lazy teaching (said as a teacher). How does the teacher manage behaviour during the rest of the year?

If it happened as your DD described, then I would not be impressed. It is never right to shame kids Infront of their peers.

Also, it would have undermined my DD's opinion of the teacher. By 7 she no longer believed in Santa so she would have known that the teacher was lying.

As an aside, in this house I have never done the narrative that Santa's presents were conditional on being good. It has always felt wrong to me.

Dear DD7s teacher,

I love you, you are a great teacher but DD told me something that has been preying on my mind.

I hope she has got the wrong end of the stick because I would hate to think she is learning to critticise, shame or punish people because of a disability. Please reassure me.

I’d definitely talk to the teacher, this seems really unfair