What do you do when your kids are more for you and not the other parent?

[passthetea]

My daughters are 5 and 3 and since forever they've always favoured me over they're dad, I'm sure they love him but if they had to choose I'd bet my life they would choose me. Ex texted me the other day and said he would pick dd5 up from school tonight and take her to the cinema to watch the new frozen film (dd3 has never been to the cinema so we're going to do that together with her soon) when I told this to dd5 on Wednesday she asked if I was going, I said no it would be her and daddy and that it would be fun, she's refused point blank to go. A couple of weeks ago dd2 was poorly and just wanted me but dd5 would not go to her dads alone and without her little sister. How does others deal with this situation?

What happens if you make her go? If fine once she's there then she has to go. Facilitating contact is really important.

She's cry's and gets herself into a right state, if she went I'm sure she would have a great time but she won't go off her own back. Her dad feels really bad it's hurts him a lot x

Sorry didn't mean to put the x

I think you need to be business like about it and and if her dad wants to see her then she needs to go. especially as you say she is fine once she's there. However is may be preferable to stick to a set routine and have a little calendar or timetable type thing in her room so she knows who she is seeing and when and then it is just non-negotiable.

@SunshineDays2019 good idea about having a timetable. I think she just doesn't do well with change. Me and her dad have only been split up a couple of months so she's still adjusting.

At 5 I’d be making a big deal out of them seeing their dad - you’ve only recently split and their feelings will be all over the place, they’ll naturally feel more secure with whoever they live with. A time table and predictable routines will help, speaking positively about him and their time together will help.

Most kids tend to prefer their mother up to the age of 5, then their father. ( Then an aunt or uncle around 12). It’s just the stage of dependence they’re at.