MIL - how do I make this work?

[Fallingdownhouse]

I would like my lovely MIL to come to our house for 2 weeks over Christmas. My MIL would like that too but she’s worried. The issue is that she has some mobility issues and serious difficulty with stairs.

We’re able to turn a downstairs room into a bedroom for her, and we have a tiny downstairs toilet. The real issue is the shower. It’s at the top of the house so it’s not feasible. I really want her to come to us and have a relaxing time but I can’t work out how to make it work for her. My DH & I can’t carry her up. We have a utility room so she could have a ‘towel bath’ using that sink, but that doesn’t seem like a great idea for 2 weeks. She’s a proud lady and I know it’s one of the reason’s she’s concerned about staying at ours.

Anyone else had this issue? Is there some temporary solution short of taking her to the local leisure centre to shower there? I’m hoping something has been invented that I’m not aware of!

I was going to suggest going to a friend/relative who lives local for their shower but in hindsight my parents/mil would hate this and feel uncomfortable.
I'd suggest the towel bath in the utility and gauge her reaction. You could make it feel welcoming- put a stool in their, toiletries, mirror etc? Sorry I'm not much help.

There

I’d suggest bowls of water, towels, toiletries in the bedroom. Set it up really nice for her.
I work as a home care assistant and sometimes have to do this when a person isn’t up to having a shower.

Thanks Spied and charm. Good to know it happens in a care home setting. I've never really had to think about these things before, but she hasn't been to stay with us for about 2 years and has gone downhill over the last year. She's also the type of person that doesn't like to cause a fuss, but I don't mind fussing for her.

Is there any way you could attach a shower hose to the utility taps so that it's easier to wash her hair?

How often would she want to shower do you think. Neither my mum or mil shower everyday anymore. I think having a good wash at the sink might suffice.

For her hair you could book her into a local hairdresser for a wash and blow dry.

how far away does she live? Could you take her home half way through to shower?

Jeez, I hadn't even thought about her hair! I'll look into that, it's possible at the sink, but I'm not sure it's comfortable. A trip to the hairdressers on me would be perfect.
It's not possible to take her home as it's a 2.5hr drive one way.
Thanks for helping me think of the practicalities.

You could try using dry shampoo in between washed or just damping it down and then blow drying it.
Do you have any local friends with downstairs showers you could perhaps visit once or twice.
Would your MIL be up for a mini spa day so she could use the shower and then maybe have an afternoon tea whilst she’s there?

Could you book a travel inn type thing for a night here and there in the middle?

Thanks guys, some helpful advice. I'll run this past MIL and hopefully it will put her mind at rest. I might be able to call on my DSis, she's 40 mins away so not ideal, but she's got a ground floor step in shower and it's a good excuse to see my Dniece.

If she’s going to struggle to wash her hair you can get waterless shampoo.

Contact adult services at your local council and/or Age UK there may well be a community centre near you with assisted bathing facilities.

There are also products for 'dry' washing the body and hair that actually do a good job. I used to use them with DF when he wasn't up to a shower. I'll try and find a link.

Ah cross post, that's the stuff!

Do you have a friend with a downstairs shower- or would she hate that?

I found out recently that our local travelodg rents rooms for part days, presumably for nefarious purposes, but might also work for showering/bathing in comfort on ground floor? They don't advertise it but it is hire standard apparently!

If you contact help the aged, you used to be able to hire portable shower things from them.

When I first was disabled and unable to use the shower at home I went to the local leisure centre to use theirs. Great facilities, lovely and warm. No problems and a posh coffee afterwards 😊