Do your teens/pre teens have direct contact with Grandparents?

[LetsMakeAPlan]

Just had a conversation with my DM that her and DF are disappointed that my DC’s (11 and 13) do not contact them or message them directly.

They do not contact my DC’s and it has never really occurred to me to encourage DC’s to.

They see them sporadically. Very much one way in that we usually always visit them. They are both retired. Live about 30 minutes drive away. Both very active but rarely choose to visit us.

No. DGPs showed zero interest in DC growing up = never had them to stay over (never once offered or asked) rarely babysat (maybe once a year, even though they lived 20 mins away at the time) and now seem mystified that the compliment is returned. They don't get why teen DC don't want to travel 7 hours to listen to them itemising their hospital visits.

DD2 is only 7 but DD1 is 11 and is in direct contact, especially with my parents. She uses WhatsApp and FaceTime even though we see them a couple of times a week. Both sides initiate contact and they chat about what she's been doing at school etc. They have a lovely relationship.

DS sends the occasional random message, chats on the phone about good grades, sports events etc.

He has weekly time with my parents (without us) which always involves a snack, drink and chat. He shares his favourite memes and gossip about kids my parents remember as angels in primary school nativities.

My parents will text DS 15 to ask how a match has gone if they know he has one. He only instigates if I prompt him. They don't do things as a three regularly but they have taken him on a short break the last few summers.

My boys text or FaceTime both sets of grandparents and we have family WhatsApp groups with each set of grandparents and aunts/uncles that they are in too. Both sets of grandparents live approx 20-30 min drive and we see them quite regularly.

My son is 14 and will quite often text or facetime his Nana who lives a couple of hours drive away. My daughter is 10 and she is less likely to message but she doesn’t have her own phone yet. They both regularly see their Granny who lives round the corner and will often ask to pop in on them. I’m glad they have a close relationship with their grandparents.

My 3 kids have daily contact with my mum who lives next door. And occasional (one or two times a year?) visits to other grandparents who are 8 hours drive away. Phone contact more often that that obviously.

I used to write letters to my DGM every week and she wrote back. I wrote less frequently to my other grandparents but they were in the US and didn’t write much to us.

I will encourage DSs to write to their grandparents as both sets send them postcards and cards and they love getting them...DS1 is 7 and I suspect I’ll be suggesting it in the New Year. I adored having that extra adult to confide in. I went away for sixth form and was told ‘if you’re lonely find a phone box and reverse the charges’ I never had to but it still fills me with a warm glow. We lived a three hour drive away so I saw her a few times a year.

My parents both died a long time ago but my in laws (more MiL) message them sometimes and then my dc reply.
It would have happened a bit from when they first got their phones at 11, but happens a bit more now they are at university / adults. When they were younger it would be things like 'Good luck n your match' or 'Hope you have a good time on Scout Camp' , and they' reply with 'thank you' or something. Nothing deep and meaningful, but just letting them know they are thinking about them.

Mostly though, there are more 'general family conversations' through the (extended) family WhatsApp group. So everyone can read or chip in as they want, but everyone is 'in touch'.

Yes they will draw pictures and write letters and ask me to send them in the post to Spain, their grandparents write back. They also ask to video call them (this goes both ways) they're young so it's my phone but I facilitate it when asked. When in the country the gp's will collect after school and do some form if activity and vribg home just before bed. In the summer they have them for a day per week. That's in addition to the time when their dad takes them.
On the other side there is less contact overall as my parents are very busy with work and such. They will have the odd day with them though without me but mostly as we hardly get any free time we arrange things so we are all together at the same time.

Yes, my 11yo will walk round sometimes. It's about quarter of a mile and she lets me know she's arrived safely. She also WhatsApps her great gran who is 84.

Mine have contact with both sets of GP. but they do have more contact with my in-laws as they call, text and FaceTime DC more often than my parents do. However DC have great relationships with both sets.