My family is really dysfunctional (nothing new there) but it is really depressing and making me anxious. The latest thing to happen is that after my mum sister and nephew visited this weekend (we live in Scotland they live in London/Essex) my mum gets home and sends a text not saying how great the visit was but moaning about the journey home, how long it took (even though it didn't and she got home at a reasonable hour). Also making weird comments about how she thought my partner's work day can't possibly have been more stressful then her journey home (even though my partner was ill all weekend but did not make a fuss and hung out with everybody the whole weekend when he should really have been in bed and played all day with my slightly spoilt and difficult nephew etc and had to get up at the crack of dawn for work on monday)...I know this doesn't sound very bad to be honest but our family has had a lot of negative politics and drama and I really saw this visit as a way to heal and move forward. Instead they behaved once again like a click and the whole thing was like a tick box exercise for them. To then get a moaning text from my mum (and she didn't even bother to ask how my partner was feeling and if he was ok for work) makes me want to text back something like "First world problem baby boomer!" We travel a lot and have had far far far worse experiences and delays (she was delayed for 50 minutes and got home at 6pm having boarded the plane at 1.30pm it's not even worth mentioning in my book). It just felt like she wanted to pick holes and somehow make us feel bad for what is as I say a pretty normal journey home and not our fault. To me it is normal etiquette to just say you had a nice time, say thanks and ask how the other person is feeling who was ill all weekend. It hurts so much as this is my mum and I want to be have an open and honest relationship but how can I confront a person who does not say anything directly to your face but consistently makes snide comments and digs (I would also add that last year when she visited I had just been diagnosed with the BRCI cancer gene and was also waiting for the results of a biopsy as the doctors had found something they didn't like on a mammogram so I was really distressed and worried and she started listing off people she knew who had died of breast cancer). Maybe she is just thoughtless I don't know but there have been so many instances of passive aggression and comments that I can't help but feel really angry as I am a direct person and would rather people just said what they thought if they had a problem. Should I just ignore her and accept at this stage she is not going to change? I can't be doing with the stress as whenever I have tried to confront her she denies she has said anything or makes up excuses for saying it.