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Childcare conundrum

10 replies

Tonii1985 · 25/11/2019 17:42

I could do with some help with this - it's really stressing me out!

DS is 3.5 and DD is 18 months. DS is at pre-school and we have a childminder that does his wraparound and has my DD all day. This is 2 days a week as my DH and I do the rest of the childcare between us and family help (compressed days etc). This has been the arrangement for the last 3 months.

Our current childminder - childminder 1 - I'm not sure about. Liked her at interview but there have been a few things that have put me off. DD seems happy enough - stopped crying at drop off after a couple of weeks. But I have been there and CM has seemed a bit impatient with the kids, left a young one crying alone for longer than I'd have been comfortable with. To be fair though, it was at a really manic point in the day (pick up time) and I'd showed up early.

DS told me he doesn't like CM. This isn't like him at all. He's also said she told him not to cry as only babies cry, not big boys. He's only 3 and he has a long day at pre-school so this makes me so sad. CM has also said he seems subdued and doesn't play with the other kids there. Again not like him at all. He's really happy at pre-school.

When I approached this with the CM, the next day she confronted him which I thought was a bit off. She said "why don't you like me? When I tell you to do something I'm not being mean" etc

However, there are days when I ask DS and he says he is happy there, like her etc. It's difficult because he's only 3. I don't know how much to really read into it... Maybe he was just having a bad day when he said he didn't like her. I don't want to put it on him too much.

There is another option: childminder 2. Much nicer environment IMO from what I can tell but just going on initial vibes (which I did with CM1!) I do like her though. Feels right. DS two friends from pre school go to her. She is also much more expensive (£120 per month) but we can afford it with tighter belts. Also she is further away, 20 minute walk rather than 5 min walk. Which matters with pick up when my DH does it. She's just much warmer and more experienced. Would have to change days but that would be ok.

If you read this far well done, thank you and... WWYD?

OP posts:
Tonii1985 · 25/11/2019 17:43

Apologies - I did use paragraphs but they disappeared!

OP posts:
mnahmnah · 25/11/2019 17:49

I would move them. Your children need to be happy. You need to trust the childminder and environment. Both are more important than the money and walk.

Tonii1985 · 25/11/2019 17:53

@mnahmnah
Yeah I think you're right. I just worry I have read too much into a situation which is actually fine. Like today DS said he wanted to go to her house. But then he is subdued there... So unlike him. I wish I could be a fly on the wall!

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Scootingthebreeze · 25/11/2019 18:02

Given what you've put I'd move them. These are very important formative years and you have to read children's body language for what they can't say in words. Even though his words vary, his body language being subdued is not right

mnahmnah · 25/11/2019 18:03

When it comes t mo your children I believe you should trust your gut, not take any chances. I’m not saying that your current childminder is dodgy in any way, just that if you aren’t completely happy with your children’s care and a possibly better alternative, it would be much less worrying for you

formerbabe · 25/11/2019 18:03

I'd move him without hesitation

mnahmnah · 25/11/2019 18:04

*to, not t mo!

  • have a possibly better alternative
Tonii1985 · 25/11/2019 18:16

I think I knew this, I just needed to hear it!
I get in my own head sometimes.
DH also in 2 minds so no help!
Moving them. Thanks all xx

OP posts:
MrsBricks · 25/11/2019 18:23

Does the other childminder actually have space for them both? If she already has two pre-schoolers then she can only take one more.

Tonii1985 · 25/11/2019 19:39

@mrsbricks yes, availability is all sorted.

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