HOW the hell do you manage a toddler and newborn logistically?

[marmitemayonnaise]

DC1 is 2.5. DC2 is 3 months.

The baby is a pretty good sleeper at night (toddler also) so nights are fine currently. It's the daytime I'm struggling with massively.

On the 2 days when toddler is at nursery, I try to follow the eat-play-sleep routine with the baby. Works ok but even though he's tired it can take 20-30 minutes of shushing or rocking to get him to sleep. Naps will be as short as 20 minutes, very occasionally just over an hour. Not great but manageable when just the two of us.

When I have both at home with me I'm struggling a lot on how to logistically get baby to sleep. I've tried various awake times between 45 minutes and 2.5 hours but it's still the same- 20 minutes to get him to sleep. I can't do this with a toddler.

Baby hates the soft sling and carrier. Also hates the pram No reflux issues etc just hates them for some reason. Will happily feed to sleep on me but again can't do this often with toddler who needs attention and entertaining.

Someone who's had a similar situation PLEASE tell me how you managed with a baby who won't be put down but also won't go in a sling?!

(And as much as I appreciate some people often say their baby didn't nap so don't stress about sleep... I can tell he's exhausted and gets grumpier throughout the day, he's definitely not one of the rare babies that apparently can go 10 hours without sleeping).

Have you tried the very bouncy walking for 5 mins in the sling? That's the way I got mine to tolerate it. What about swaddle in the pram?

I'm about to have a toddler and newborn so haven't actually got advice but can you:

Practice with the sling while you're on your own so baby gets used to it without toddler around?

Or can you put the toddler in a travel cot downstairs or get a Stair gate to keep him/her in a safe baby proof room for 20 mins?

Can you give the toddler your mobile or TV to play with upstairs quietly in your bedroom while you shush the baby?

Like I say, I haven't actually got experience of this, which may be obvious!

My second born has had to nap when in his car seat or in the pram when he can. When I need to put him down in his cot I give my DS1 in a child proof room with my mobile phone.

Have you tried putting him in his buggy when he is getting tired and taking him for a short walk? Gets you and the toddler out for a bit and might send him to sleep. Works if you walk to mother and toddler, softplay, the library or wherever you are taking your toddler to too. I used to give all my attention to my toddlers doing the day and just hold the baby whilst I was doing it. They basically just wanted to be close to me. I used to feed them whilst reading to the others, playing games with them, doing jigsaws, things you can do whilst sitting in the one place.

My DS was 2 and a half when DD was born.

It's all a bit of a blur, but we just got on with it. DS and I carried on pretty much as we were, but took DD along with us. Toddler groups, visiting/meeting up with friends and family, walking/driving to shops, park, walking the dog... DD would nap in the car, in the buggy, in the sling or on me. Tight routines didn't work for us -- we just went with the flow. If DD fell asleep on me at home I would pop her down and play with DS, do some housework etc.

My son was 2.5 when DD was born. He'd never watched TV up until that point. More than made up for it since 🙈

To be honest when my baby was that age I just cuddled him for his naps. He is now nearly a year and going down in his cot, but for months I just held him. My toddler was that age too, intact slightly younger, and I just settled him with a snack, drink, toys etc. Only an issue if he needed the toilet but if I knew baby was having a nap I'd take him just beforehand.

BlackInk, the OP has already said the baby won't nap in the sling or pram or car though 🤷‍♂️

DC2 was one of these. I used to throw food at DC1, put the TV on for something he'd watch then leg it to get DC2 to nap. Roughly fifty percent of the time it'd work. The other half I'd lose the will to live.

A swing worked for a bit even though they hated a sling or the car.