Recovery from substances

[Holdingtherope]

Hi

I am really confused and looking for help.

I am 10 years alcohol free next week. During this time I have been prescribed a medication by my dr to manage anxiety (not a benzo) I must admit on occasion maybe three times I have misused this. I know this is not acceptable and will eventually lead to relapse but I feel that this medication has lifted my mood and I fear that I would maybe do something daft if I wasn’t for that medication.

I wanted to do something to celebrate alcohol free time but my friend says I have relapsed and should not be celebrating 10 years. Although I don’t have continuous clean time I have 10 years sobriety.

I fear this 12 step fellowship way of thinking isn’t helpful and guilt and shame over am I abstinent or not will lead me back to alcohol.

Anyone? Please don’t ignore me!!

You'll probably get more posts now people are waking up Op.
Yes to celebrate your 10 years sobriety!! What a fantastic achievment!
I'm a bit at your friend saying you shouldn't celebrate this.
Hopefully more pp will come along soon with more experience and support.

I just feel really upset and a total fraud. She does narcotics anonymous and that is total abstinence.

Thank you for replying

NA and AA are not the same. You are more then entitled to celebrate your 10 years sober. Just because you've had mind altering medication it doesn't mean you've relapsed. My ex wouldn't even have painkillers after getting clean because he was convinced that would be a relapse. Absolutely ridiculous.

It’s just so black and white. I can honestly see why people with years of abstinence kill themselves with this way of thinking.

You absolutely should celebrate 10 years free of alcohol. It's a massive achievement. Your friend's ideological purity isn't at all helpful. So you misused your meds a handful of times - but you didn't spiral into another active addiction. That is testament to the strength of your recovery. Celebrate your heart out.

Why was my message deleted?

Thanks guys

Pearl I didn’t see it. What did it say?

Hey, massive congrats on your sobriety and don’t take on any guilt, you’re doing incredibly well