Village life

[AdoptedBumpkin]

Hi all. Posted this in AIBU, but may get more replies here.

We moved as a family from Greater London to a medium sized village in a national park a few weeks ago. While I enjoy some aspects of rural life, I am beginning to worry about some of the villagers. They seem to gossip a lot about each other and it seems probable that that they must gossip about us, if only because not much else is going on.

Yesterday I was walking through the village with my daughter and passed a local old-ish couple. I heard the lady say something about 'the gilet' and I was wearing my purple North face gilet. It may have been positive and/or throwaway, but it spooked me that something so mundane would be commented on. I am used to a life where you really have to try hard to stand out.

I live in a small village and most people know each other. It's nice and safe for the kids but I find it best not to talk about other people and not tell anyone anything you wouldn't mind being general knowledge. If you're a good person you'll be fine.

Thanks @Lighteninginabottle27. That makes me feel better.

When there are fewer people about you can't help but be noticed. It's best to process along the main street very much modelling yourself on our dear queen, smiling and nodding, and accepting that you are on a public engagement!

That's one way to look at it @Ursaminor! Maybe I should embrace it and stand out on purpose

I moved to a merely small town 15 yrs ago. The social scene is quite suffocating. I know which teacher had anorexia 25 yrs ago, which childminder's partner did a violent crime, which delivery driver got done for indecent image possession, which teacher lived around the corner when she went to high school, which children at the school are cousins with each other, which teacher has an inferiority complex about their high-achieving sibling, who grew up here or somewhere else (their resulting accent is very important..... to someone ), who left her husband to run off with daughter's teacher, who was bullied by the school governors, what parent got hounded away from a school after slagging off other parents (and leaving her husband & who knows what other annoying behaviour)...

FFS, I wanted none of this information.
I crave the anonymity of the big city.
tbf, the information flow died a lot when I stopped being a SAHM. Thank Goodness.

@AdoptedBumpkin - embrace it! I treat waiting at the bus stop outside the Post Office as if it were a cocktail party.

If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em

But once you're settled, you'll have at least 5 people nearby that you could call on day or night to help you out.

Your new, so your interesting !
Drop a few white lies around and become infamous

We found after moving to a small town it was very gossipy but have been here 3 years and absolutely love it. It’s mainly the older couples who gossip and the parents at school (luckily I have a few years before dd starts school). I do still hear a lot of useless information though, like this morning I didn’t really want to know about the ex-husband of the lady who lives next to the school when I was out walking the dogs this morning but oh well!

It is helpful when everyone knows everyone because there’s always someone to help out (especially when you’re 36 weeks pregnant, alone at home with a 18month old and the washer starts leaking and throwing water everywhere and you’re too pregnant to move the washer to unplug it to stop the house flooding)

Your village sounds like mine @RandDandC.

Not a bad idea @VictoriaBun

I think it depends on the village.

Some can be quite insular and cliquey and hard to get to know people. Think you're an outsider if you've lived there 10 years because 75% of people have 6 generations from the village. They can be quite closed and gossipy places.

Others people do have that kind of community chat feel but it's very inclusive, people share good news, will help others out, some are maybe a little nosy but it's well intentioned rather than to gossip and be unpleasant.

*Some can be quite insular and cliquey and hard to get to know people. Think you're an outsider if you've lived there 10 years because 75% of people have 6 generations from the village. They can be quite closed and gossipy places.

Others people do have that kind of community chat feel but it's very inclusive, people share good news, will help others out, some are maybe a little nosy but it's well intentioned rather than to gossip and be unpleasant.*

From what I've experienced so far, I think this village is a bit of both.

Not sure why the bold didn't work there.

59AdoptedBumpkin
Each paragraph needs it's own asterisks

Thanks @KnittingSister