DS has brought home a fricking dood...

[ShowOfHands]

... which is a level of hell 3 above a recorder. Because I can't play it!

DS has begged me to play a tune to him (on a recorder, no problem). I can't make a single sound. It's been three days. Not a note. I've watched tutorials, googled, nothing, de rien, nada...

Help me play the bloody thing before I throw it out the window!

DS, DD and DH can all make a sound BTW. It's just me.

hand up who else thought op's ds had just come out

It’s a a single reed instrument.

It’s a completely different ombiture to recorder.

If you look at the mouth piece there will be a point where the reed and the mouth piece part. That’s where your lips should be.

Bottom lip should be tucked over the teeth.
Both lips firm
You will need to blow strongly from your stomach rather than the cheeks.

I initially misread it as meaning he had a dog and thought, how lovely. Then, as you did, I thought he'd come out and his new chap was handsome and cool and again thought, how lovely.

If I follow instructions like yours @NinetySixer I can just about make a very high pitched squeak but nothing melodic.

I know it's v different to a recorder but I can't DO it. I've tried every technique going.

For the record, I also can't programme the satnav (won't register my touch) or open the automatic doors at Waitrose. I have to get staff or a stranger to stand in front of the doors for me.

Is it possible I don't exist?

Do any of your friends or family have a talent for seeing dead people?

Well, 50% of the household ignore me if that's a key to solving this mystery? Especially when I ask them to tidy up. Additionally, only I can see any mess, dust or piles of stuff. Am I on a different astral plane?

- try this! :-) it might help

But then I can't talk as I tried a friends flute for ages when I was younger and couldn't make a sound.

I had to watch the video to learn what a dood was ...

@thetardis Yep, I did 🤣

hand up who else thought op's ds had just come out

Yes who's bright idea was children musical instruments

@ShowOfHands

The squeaking will be because of 1 of the following:
Blowing to hard
LIps too right
Incorrect fingering

It will take practice. Reed instruments take time to learn.

I’ve played played bflat clarinet and alto saxophonist for over 20 years yet it has taken me 3 months to get to the point of making a clear sound on a temp sax.

I thought your DS had brought home a dude and that dood was an alternative spelling.

That video doesn't make it sound melodic!! DD Tod me to turn off the horrible noise!

Blowing a dood

@Windinmyhair that's the first video I watched. No help at all.

Okay, maybe melodic was the wrong word. It's a more subtle than that as a distinction. My squeaky efforts as compared to what should be happening is more like the difference between nails on a blackboard vs my colleague Linda running on about I'm A Celeb. Different noises.

It's not a fingerings issue. I can't get my mouth position right

I am v proficient at fiddle and piano BTW.

DS is 8 btw. No interest in romance apart from a firm love of Hulk. He just so happens to have joined dood club. You bring the doods home. To practice on them.

Even my husband who is known to be able to ‘get a tune out of anything’ can’t master this.

Wnbrkuchure

Oops posted in error - Mn equivalent of squeaky dood !

Meh. Don't stress about it - feeling under pressure is a surefire way to be unable to make any reeded instrument unplayable.

I can't get a sound out of an oboe or a fife. I'm shit at flute, too - but I could from clarinet and sax first time I touched them. I can also play trumpet, penny whistle and recorder - but the sound I got from a violin, despite being able to play cello and double bass, was abysmal. However, I have friends who simply cannot get anything other than an agonised squeak from a recorder or penny whistle, because they're tense and overblow from their lungs, rather than from their diaphragm.

Personally, I generally stick to things with frets or keys. Far less hassle that way.

Have you considered encouraging him to play the ukulele? Far less painful for all concerned - as long as he doesn't start singing along in a breathy whisper like a fucking John Lewis advert.

He knows my feelings on slowed down, breathy shite. He was instructed from birth. He has a uke already.

I've admitted defeat and put it back in his bag.

They have a new and keen headteacher who has introduced dood club and rhythmic clapping. It's beautifully earnest.

Doods are great.

Dd2 has one, and can play it reasonably well. It’s like a baby clarinet. I got it her because she was after clarinet lessons, but since she already plays cello, piano and recorder (actual lessons) I vetoed on the basis she has to actually do some academic lessons at school!

So she has one as part of her collection of instruments. Ds has a p buzz. I need a pbone at some point

I found it odd to play, but not impossible. I play oboe though, so lots of experience with Reed instruments (albeit double not single reed).

Persevere - it’ll be worth it in the end!

I also thought this was a chilled out affirmative response to your ds' boyfriend from a parent who either couldn't spell or wanted to emphasise the 1970s retro coolness of her son's boyfriend by spelling dude dood...

On the musical instrument side all squeeky high pitched musical instruments should be locked in a small number of soundproof rooms and only practiced within those rooms, and nobody should be allowed to play them outside those rooms before they've reached flawless perfection and can guarantee not to squeek...

Just burn the dood (not the dude though)...