21 year old and a 14 year old

[Dislocatedeyeballs]

Can a 21 year old have a 14 year old girlfriend or is it always abuse/grooming?

I was also that girl 15 (i told him i was 18) and he was 28.
Now im passed that age myself I cringe that I did that.

Teen in the 90's. Back then it was pretty common and no one would bat an eyelid ( in our community anyway).
Today, the norms have changed and it's grooming.

My friend was with her teacher from age 15. Been happily married for 40 years.

It's not great and a decent parent would be doing all they could to get rid of him. A 24 year old and 31 year old would be different.

That said boys at that age can be grim so I can see why a 14 year old would prefer a 21 year old.

But 20 or 30 years ago, not so much.

I disagree.
I was 14 some 30 odd years ago. It would definitely have been seen as wrong amongst most of my friends. Possibly 16 and 21 would have been seen as okay, though now we'd definitely think it was off. But not 14y.

And it has been ILLEGAL since the late 19th century.