is it weird to set up an email address for a future child and sends thoughts/antics etc even when we are childless right now / before we are pregnant/

[Coziefox]

I'm married and we both want kids in the future. Right now it's not financially viable for us to have a kid and also our current house Is definitely not child friendly because of the size and layout etc.

I'm also a child care nursery nurse, looking after babies and I get so broody and have little thoughts about what the future may be like but also I think about the joy a child brings and funny stuff they do etc.

We have had multiple discussions about how we'd raise our kids and I've had little thoughts about what it might be like, names I'd like, dreams I'd like to achieve with them etc.

So would it be weird for me to create an email and send these thoughts & if we have a child and they hit their 18 birthday, to give them the password to it?

It's a bit unusual but it's no different to having a diary of your thoughts.
If it gives you comfort then do it.
No child has ever suffered from knowing how much they are wanted and loved so I don't it would be a bad thing to give to them if you do have a child.

I wouldn’t necessarily think of it as emails to the baby, maybe use some other way of keeping these notes and then you can reread them yourself or let your future child read them too. TBH the things you think are fascinating now will probably be deemed deeply embarrassing and naff by an 18 year old!

I had a special item to give to my DS on his 18th and his response was “I know it’s special to you, but it doesn’t really mean anything to me, so if it’s valuable you might as well sell it!” (He has ASD so says what he thinks, but I’m sure a lot of other kids would feel that way but be too polite to say it!)

They quite like to hear the funny things they said as youngsters but I’m not sure they’d give a shit about my life before they came along!

What an unusual idea! I think it's cute and quirky. I personally wouldn't do it because I'm superstitious but I don't think you're bat shit crazy for doing it! Enjoy.

I think the proper place for these thoughts is a diary for yourself, not an imaginary version of a young adult child who doesn’t exist yet.

We thought we'd do this for my DS, but pictures. DH wanted to send all favourite pictures to this email ect. It's a lovely idea but we never ever got round to it sadly.

I suspect this might turn out like a lot of baby books.
Lovingly filled out in detail pre birth.
A few birth details a couple of months in.
A guilty recollection on the first birthday you haven't kept up to date, by now you have forgotten most of the details in a sleep exhausted haze so you make a few up
Then you forget it and lose it
Age 5 dc find it and ask why you were so rubbish at filling it in.

I think it’s a bit weird.

Future children don’t need that information.

dreichwinter this is very much my experience of baby books .
I haven't even got the excuse of having more than one child.

I'd think that a journal would be better - something for you, not something for a person who isn't here yet. And do remember that in 18+ years, emails will be like something from the dinosaur era, probably not used at all. A written journal will always be readable - emails not so much.

Really strange considering you aren't pregnant.

Also it's "I am pregnant" not "we are pregnant". You both can't be pregnant.

Start up a private journal on livejoirnal or blogspot or similar. You'll like to look back yourself but might not want to actually share with the child later.

I ended up making my old journals into photo books for DS1. I combined all those random thoughts/records, edited out the bits I would rather he did not read and put photos in from when he was that age. He can look through them any time he likes and if he wants to take them when he moves out of home, he can. For now they are on the family bookshelf. I will do some for DS2 as well, I have my comments saved up and plenty of pictures (more this time, because of smartphones! DS1 was a baby/toddler before all that.)

If you want to include memories from before children are conceived you could always make a general family memories photo book, and decide later whether to include the comments relating to hypothetical future children or just general commentary on your family holiday or new kitchen or whatever.

I don't think it's entirely healthy to be so hung up on the idea of your hypothetical future child. Try and enjoy the life you're living now.

Honestly, would you sit and read 18+ years of your mothers random thoughts? I wouldn’t.

Yes, it's weird.

If you want to 'capture your thoughts', then write a diary / journal for yourself.

Believe me, no 18 yr old will be wanting to read their mother's fantasies from before they were born.

It’s weird. Sorry but it is and it’s a bit like you’re already trying to live in the future instead of enjoying life as it is now. By all means keep a journal or blog about your feelings but don’t write it to someone that doesn’t and might never exist.

I was an emotionally neglected child so getting pregnant and having a baby was a very emotional thing for me. I've written her letters since i was pregnant, mostly saying I love her and i think she's amazing and i promise to makr her feel like the most special girl in the world. Maybe she'll like them one day, maybe not, but i keep them in her special box with other sentimental items. For the other things you've mentioned, names etc, i just write them in a notebook.

I think it's a lovely idea.

Creepy as fuck.

@MsPotterPepper

You're rude as fuck.

It is creepy though. It puts too much pressure on the child. I agree that just keeping a private diary for yourself is more appropriate.

I think creepy??

How can you send emails/ letters to someone that doesn't exist??

I'm sorry I straight up honest and I think not good idea.

I think creepy/cringe??? What do you expect from it other then to show embarrassing thoughts to your future child?

Fucking hell. The snarks are out in force tonight. Have a word with yourselves, especially re that last one, carolina.

OP, I do agree more kindly with others that a journal would be a more usual place for this kind of stuff and as someone who’s only awake right now thanks to the joys of the sleep of young children, definitely try to focus on living for now 😏

We do have email addresses for our kids that we’ll hand over years down the line. I’d heard of the idea of sending them letters and pics (think it was a Google marketing campaign) and I love that idea but again, we set the addresses up when they were actually here - and more so that they’d have a ‘sensible’ option reserved for their names if they need/want it in future - unfortunately have to agree with the PP about the baby book intention but hats off to anyone who does pull it off properly!

I don't think this is creepy at all. I would love my mother to have done this.

I started a journal when I was pregnant in which I wrote to my future baby. I put it in her memory box and gave it to her when she was 18 along with her first pair of shoes etc. She seemed to love it!