My dm bought another ridiculous present. Wwyd?

[Hoolajerry]

My mother is a notoriously bad present buyer (amongst other things). She asks what we and dc would like and then either ignores it or buys her own "version". Or she sees something going cheap and thinks Hoola or her dc can have that. I have learnt to never have any expectations and generally we just accept graciously and either bin or donate to charity. I would genuinely prefer nothing to the tat she buys and have tried to kindly suggest to her not to waste her money but she does what she wants which is fairly indicative of her in general.
Today I received a link to a gift which she has bought to give one of my dc. It is a large piece of furniture which is not only impractical but also fucking hideous. She has bought it because it will have been going cheap on an online auction site (not ebay) so it is also likely to be seconds and have some faults.
I am just sick of her doing this. I don't want it in my house. I don't want the hassle of having to get rid of it. I don't want my dc to open it with an expectation that it will be something nice for them (they're pretty well aware now though to be honest). WIBU just to say "sorry dm but we don't have room for it and I don't think it's appropriate"?

Sadly however I would say this, she'd get huffy and then we'd get it anyway because she doesn't actually give a shit as long as it suits her.

And breathe..

Just say no and don't let her in with it.

Put a stop to it now. Tell her to return or re-sell it.

“Sorry but we don’t have the room for that -how about we keep it at your house for them to use when they visit?” (Assuming she’s relatively nearby!)

OK be clear - you don't have space for it and don't want it. She needs to return it, you can't have it in your house. Say that if she brings it over, it's not even like you have the space to store it until you can eBay it, you'll have to take it straight to the tip. You won't be putting it in DD's room. She needs to return it.

This will be hard, but she's used to just doing what she wants, so will probably kick off. Remember you are not being unreasonable to not want furniture you don't like and don't have space for. She is the one being unreasonable trying to force it on you.

Your feelings count as much as hers.

“Sorry but we don’t have the room for that -how about we keep it at your house for them to use when they visit?”

Ha ha! They have never been to her house even though she lives 5 minutes up the road. She has hoarder tendencies and it's so disgusting I wouldn't take them. When elder dc were little I used to pop in occasionally for a cup of tea. I once made the mistake of highlighting the mess (she was thinking about selling) and she told me she wasn't going to tidy up on the off chance I just wanted to come round and offload the kids on to her - I had never once left them in her care or asked her to look after them. I haven't been round since with them. To be honest she has never even noticed either.
I treat her with mild indifference. She generally doesn't impact on my life. She drops in when it suits her. She can not be relied upon for anything and I'm used to that. I'm just fucking sick of having to pretend to be grateful for her shit or face the mountain of guilt I'm inevitably left with.

Are you that fussed if she gets huffy, she not bothered whether you actually like stuff.

Dm thanks for thinking of us however that is too large/hideous/unsuitable etc. Please return it or gift to someone else. Thanks

When she says she can't.
Ok, the. Just give it to charity, we do not have the room.

If DH wasn’t an only child I’d wonder if this was my MIL! DH has to open all presents from her to check they’re suitable then rewrap them, or bin them, as the case may be for me and DD.

Reply asap and say that's not a suitable gift for dc and you wont be accepting it. So what if she gets huffy. Might be a blessing if she doesn't talk to you for a while. Ditch the guilt. You don't need to feel a shred of guilt for the fact that you don't want complete and utter useless tat in your house. She may be a hoarder of crap but tell her you are most certainly not. Time to put your foot down!

Just say you don't want it. The end.

Tell her you don't want it, and then physically stop it coming into your house when she brings it round anyway. She is not allowed in with any large items. Warn your daughter that Granny is bonkers and has bought a massive piece of crap instead of a proper present.

If you don't manage this then dump it back on her doorstep.

Sorry to be rude, but who cares whether she gets huffy? She can huff all she likes in her own shithole house. It doesn't sound like this relationship is one to cherish.

We have an uncomplicated complicated relationship. I ask nothing of her and have no expectation from her. We only talk about things that are superficial. However, I don't think she is even aware of this. She thinks our relationship is normal. She doesn't do confrontation and just withdraws if ever challenged and then pretends nothing has happened.

Stop being so grateful !!! Let her cop the stop.

Also she sounds like she has narcissistic personality disorder. In which case, the less contact you have with her, the happier you will be.

Are you sure this is your dm and not MIL?