How would you feel about this?

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

How would you feel if a friend told you they'd spoken to their counsellor about a situation you discussed with them out of courtesy, that doesn't really actually impact them in any way?

I know it sounds vague. I don't want the post to be identifiable.

The friend talked to their counsellor to ask the counsellor's opinion on a situation for you, i.e. trying to help you?

They've told their counsellor that they're upset by the situation.

Ok so basically I've made contact with an old friend (Paula) who other friend (Jane) used to be friends with too. They haven't spoken for around 18 months. Jane doesn't want to be friends with Paula and Paula doesn't want to be friends with Jane.

Jane has spoken to her counsellor about being upset by the fact I'm in contact with Paula again.

Is there a reason they don’t want to be friends?

If it's upsetting your friend then it is something at affects her, whether or not you think it should be. The point of counselling is to talk about things that are upsetting and to obtain ways to cope/advice/opinions. If you don't know why Paula and Jane fell out, you can't make a judgement one way or another on why Jane is upset about it. Perhaps Jane told you she spoke with her counsellor about it as a way of informing you that she is upset because you weren't undersanding that it bothers her? If you value your friendship I would suggest discussing with Jane why she isn't friends with her any more. She might need reassurance that she won't lose you as a friend because of Paula?

Whatever it is, she's not wrong to talk to her counsellor about it. If it bothers you then tell her, so that in future she won't tell you about things she talks to her counsellor about.

If she’s upset by it then it’s fair that she talks to her counsellor. It might be odd that she’s upset, but if she has those feelings then at least she’s trying to figure them out I suppose?

@littleorangecat22 I do know why they fell out as the 3 of us were good friends.

I completely agree that she should talk to her counsellor about anything that bothers her if that's what she feel she needs to do.

I think I just feel uncomfortable being spoken about as it makes me feel like I'm in the wrong and being judged somehow, if that makes sense?

I think this is Jane's way of telling you she expects you to pick her over Paula.

If I were Jane I might have spoken to my counsellor about how I feel, but I wouldn't then have gone on to tell you that I'd talked to them about it.