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Original poster

DD wet herself at school today - how unusual is this?

24 replies

Thefifthbeatle · 19/11/2019 16:39

DD is in Year 1. Apparently in reception, they weren't allowed to go to the loo during PE and so she didn't ask today. As a result, by the time they were getting changed again, she was absolutely desperate and couldn't make it to the loo in time. The other kids saw and are being mean to her, and she is now distraught.

I don't have any experience of how unusual this is at their age. I would hope that they will have forgotten tomorrow and will leave her alone, but there are a few boys in her class who seem to take great delight in finding someone to pick on, and I am worried that this is going to make her their next target.

OP posts:
owl89 · 19/11/2019 17:03

Hi Smile
Year 1 teacher here. It's totally normal for children to have the occasional accident at this age, there has been plenty in my class. Don't worry, the other children will have forgotten by tomorrow Smile

RabbitBeaver · 19/11/2019 17:11

Year 1 TA here, there have been a fair few in my class. The kids will have forgotten by tomorrow.

drspouse · 19/11/2019 17:13

My DD is in Y1 and has accidents most days, I hope the other children don't laugh at her! School have been very supportive.

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Original poster
Thefifthbeatle · 19/11/2019 17:53

Thank you. She seems a bit calmer now. Instinctively, I want to contact the parents of the kids who were mean to her today and ask them to have a quiet word, but I know that will make it worse, and make me look like a crazy woman, so I can't. But it's really, really hard when it's your child who is so upset and you can't make it better.

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 19/11/2019 17:59

I would be more concerned that small children are not being allowed to use the convenience when they need to. that would put a strain on anyone. imagine this rule in a work scenario, what would we say.

GrumpyHoonMain · 19/11/2019 18:00

How unusual it is depends on the class. For example I grew up in an area where kids were mostly from India and Pakistan and potty trained then fully dry (no accidents) by 3/4. So although it is normal for a 5-7 yo to have an accident - It would have been rare within that circle and the child would have been singled out. In some cases a single accident could impact friendships until secondary school.

I would suggest if your dd continues to feel unhappy about the class’s reaction that you ask the school for help. They might be able to move her to a different class?

Original poster
Thefifthbeatle · 19/11/2019 18:04

Oh goodness. I'm definitely hoping not. She had actually potty trained herself by her 2nd birthday. This is incredibly unusual for her.

OP posts:
inwood · 19/11/2019 18:08

@GrumpyHoonMain thanks a bit random most kids are fully trained by that age regardless of where they're from. Sometimes there will be accidents.

Keep an eye on her op, probably a total one off but could be a symptom of a UTI.

slipperywhensparticus · 19/11/2019 18:11

Do you have a class WhatsApp group might be worth asking if anyone elses child has been denied the toilet opens up the conversation

Mrsfrumble · 19/11/2019 18:11

Jeez, I’m glad my children aren’t growing up in an area where they might shun or be shunned in secondary school for having an accident in infants Confused Fortunately they’re being taught compassion at home and school.

I’d have a word with the teacher OP, to make sure firstly that your daughter feels comfortable asking to go when she needs to (even is it’s a time when they’re not usually allowed, a reasonable teacher will make an exception if the child is desperate), and secondly to keep an ear out for any teasing.

Elieza · 19/11/2019 18:12

Why are the children not allowed to go to the toilet when they need? That’s ridiculous. Thought we had moved on from my day when that was the case. Most unpleasant and cruel. Toileting is a basic human right is it not? I’d be asking the school what the problem is with going to the loo when they need to.

lilgreen · 19/11/2019 18:13

Year 1 TA here. Happens a couple of times a term. Don’t worry. Chn of that age should be able to use the toilet regardless of lesson taught though.

WhiteWineAndMagnums · 19/11/2019 18:19

If it's very unusual for her, keep an eye out for a UTI

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/11/2019 18:22

It's likely that the Reception teacher sent all the children to the toilet before PE so they were less likely to need it during the lesson. I did this because it was hard to have the class in the Hall and supervise one needing to go to the toilet although I wouldn't deny them if they needed it. The Year 1 teacher perhaps didn't do this (some would disagree with the idea of sending them whether they needed it or not) and your DD didn't think to go before PE because she didn't need it immediately. As children get older teachers tend to be less proactive in anticipating these basic needs (in my view as an Early Years teacher). It wouldn't hurt to have a word but I wouldn't complain about it.

Original poster
Thefifthbeatle · 19/11/2019 18:23

The Y1 teacher came out and found me at pick up and she had already confirmed to DD that she could ask to go whenever she needed to, so I don't know what the issue was last year, but it appears not to be ongoing.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 19/11/2019 18:25

Chn of that age should be able to use the toilet regardless of lesson taught though. yes, but for safety reasons it's more difficult if the Hall is further away from the toilets than the classroom so I would encourage them to go beforehand.

Bluerussian · 19/11/2019 18:28

It happens. I remember a couple of children when I was at school and it happened to children in my kid's class when small.

It's wrong not to allow kids to go to the loo during PE if they really need to. I get they should go in between classes but there are emergencies.

Bless her.

BlueThursday · 19/11/2019 18:28

It’s not unusual for children of that age as a whole but clearly unusual for your daughter.

However, you know the cause of this and I’d perhaps ask questions as to why a child in the infants can’t access the toilet when needed

nicknamehelp · 19/11/2019 18:29

I wouldn't make an issue of it with other parents at this stage as if their dc have forgotten it and then get reminded about it might make it an issue. I would see how it goes and hope all forgotten by tomorrow which Im sure it will be. Accidents do happen.

lilgreen · 19/11/2019 18:38

It’s always forgotten by the next day op.

owlofathena · 19/11/2019 18:49

I've taught every year from year 1 to year 5 and can honestly say accidents happen and the other children rarely notice. I've had children in year 3 having accidents (being too engrossed in activity and forgetting to ask to go to toilet) and as long as it's dealt with descreatly by teacher the other children rarely notice.

mogtheexcellent · 19/11/2019 18:53

Y1 Dd has had 4 accidents since September. She's a dolly daydream and sometimes forgets at school Hmm

BlueCornsihPixie · 19/11/2019 18:55

Maybe the parents who have potty trained their DC so well that they never have any accidents could use some of these marvellous parenting skills to teach their DC some empathy? Teach them it's not okay to shun a small child for an accident?

Halo1234 · 19/11/2019 19:26

I agree with precious posters. The issue is not your daughter had an accident but that the teacher has a no toilet during certain classes rule. That's not acceptable. I know a lot of kids who had accidents at school in infancy and think its is common so wouldnt worry about teasing.

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