Pity party about lack of family and christmas

[Lucinda88]

I am feeling sorry for myself and just want a moan. Both DH and I have tiny families, but with 'issues'.

Dh's family are miles away, never visit us and make little effort. We see them twice a year because we bother to go there. Both of his parents are dead, which has just left his brother and SIL and 2 nephews.

I only have my mum, stepdad and sister and her husband and children. There are some long lost cousins, but I haven't seen them for years. I invited my mum, stepdad and sister and her family and none of them are coming. My sister wont come because her husband has refused (he's very difficult to get on with) and my mum wont come as her husband is a functioning alcoholic and he wants to stay at home drinking his own weight in vodka. My mum also likes a drink and won't consider driving. I offered her to stay but the truth is she and my step dad will want to be wasted and I suppose you cant really do that at someone else's house. I just feel a bit sad for my 2 DCs. Christmas is always a bit flat, like a normal Sunday with gifts as it lacks the full Christmas effect with just the 4 of us. Anyone else?

One day your dc might have partners with big families and they will feel like it's not a proper Christmas because it's too busy, noisy and you can't hear the tv!!!
We're at home as a family of 4 again this year as I no longer want to travel. The day will be organised around what suits us and the kids best. I've bought a few board games from Santa (mousetrap, guess who & mr bucket) so we will play those together and hopefully it will be fun for d everyone.

Ooh. I love the idea of Christmas ghost stories and the beach

Do it, OP! Get your DDs to change into pyjamas in the pub loo so they can fall asleep (remember to take blankets!) on the drive home.

Well my husband has left me and my daughter this year so having a 4 person Christmas sounds like a luxury

There was one year in my late teens when it ended up being just me and my DM for Christmas. We went out to a local (naice) pub for Xmas lunch and it was brilliant! I'd love to go that now but DH would never agree .
We do pop out to a local pub for a couple of hours on Xmas day, though, to break up time in the house, and see friends who've also stayed local for xmas.
There are so many lovely traditions your family can start on Xmas day that only requires the four of you. Hope you have a good one!

Another one here who always massively over-compensated for lack of family by buying extra presents for my children (that they 'would have got' from grandparents etc if they had them).
It hurts less now - they are 18 and 15 and I have grown to love our quiet Christmases. Still wish we had more family though.

Interesting how so many of us overspend to make up from lack of presents from gran/aunty/MIL etc

I don't really overspend, as I know others who can afford to spend double what I have, but we are low earners and I save all year for Xmas and birthdays and just give them as much as possible. I always sort of was down on myself for being over organised, wished I was more laid back and go with the flow, but I now see my being organised enabled me to spend enough to make up from the lack of family gifts.
It's an extra pressure though, those if us already feeling the lack of emotional support family may bring, the lack of financial support is there too. Although that sounds grabby it's reality.

I am interested to know what everyone's traditions are Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/Boxing Day/New Years Eve/New Years Day

We don't have anything for more than Christmas Eve evening and Christmas Day. We work the rest. I think a part of this happy families spending "the holiday season" together myth is this extension of Christmas from Christmas day to the whole week at a time when work is becoming 24/7 with little choice. Adds to the pressure to be "having a festive family time".