Feeling sorry for myself...

[HannahBananaa]

I’ve been studying really hard for an exam I’m supposed to sit on Friday. The exam itself costs me £100. DH is working away just now so I’ve sorted breakfast club for my youngest and a friend to watch my eldest so I can drive to the college to sit my exam.

And DD has come down with a sickness bug! Poor thing is in my room with me now and back & forth to the toilet.

The problem is, I know how these things tend to go and even if DD stops being sick before tomorrow, there’s a pretty reasonable chance either me or my eldest are going to catch it and that’ll be £100 down the drain.

I’m trying so hard to built a better future for us but I’m just feeling so defeated! Rescheduling the exam will push me really far behind on my course. I have 3 exams to sit between now and April and I’m already 5 weeks behind on my course. The reason I’m behind is because I already had to delay an exam because it fell on my other daughters first school sports day and her dad was away so if I didn’t go she’d have had no one there. Also, there are only a few dates available for me to sit the exams and if I don’t manage on Friday, then there will literally be 3 available dates for my 3 exams which scares me as there’s no room for things to go wrong. Also, if I fail an exam, I won’t be able to resit and pass because there are no extra dates.

I’ve worked so hard on this course but it feels as though things are conspiring against me

Sorry for the moan last night. I was feeling pretty low about it all. Luckily DD is feeling a bit better this morning.

I think I’ll just need to cancel the exam 😔

Ah love, I'm sorry no one replied to you. It's awful lying awake and worrying about things.

Look, this is out of your control but perhaps a bit of positive thinking will help get you through until you do or do not catch it. You may be shocked and not get it, so keep planning like you are doing the exam and cross the bridge of not doing if and when it comes.

Remember that it won't be long before you look back on this stage of your life and can't believe how stressed you were. Good luck with the exam!!!!

If she is better why do you need to cancel ?

DD was awfully sick last week but none of the rest of us have shown any signs. I think you’re putting the cart before the horse to be honest. Are you dreading the exam and looking for a way out?

If I were your friend I would take care of your sick daughter for you, and not even mind if I ended up sick myself. You are doing a wonderful thing, working so hard for your course but still putting your kids first. I think it is inspiring to read what you wrote.

If your friend is willing to help under the circumstances and you are not sick yourself, just go and take the exam, and your daughter will be ok!

Really sorry you didn't get any replies last night when you needed them.

Do the exam! You said yourself DD is feeling better - doubtless she'll be feeling better by the big day. Go for it! Good luck, and keep us updated with your decision/how you did!

This is only Tuesday, Friday is a long way off in sickness bug terms.Disinfect everything you can, fire some probiotics and vitamins down your throat and both your dd’s,and try to rest.Hopefully that will keep anything that might be working on anyone at bay and you’ll be able to do the exam.Well done you on working on a qualification, I know how difficult it is.

I can’t believe you missed an exam to go to sports day. Did you realise they have them every year?

OP I mean this kindly but what on Earth are you talking about cancelling your exam on Friday because one child was puking on the Monday night. Why are you self sabotaging like this? The only time and reason you would cancel is if your head was so far down the toilet on Friday an hour before the exam you couldn’t move.

People who do well in life get on with things and make things work even in imperfect situations. Personally I’d have missed that sports day too.

Are you sure you’re not finding excuses because you’re scared of the exams?

Not going because of a school sports day was completely unreasonable. You must have had a friend, postwoman, cat you could have asked to go and support your child. And by now you’d have that exam out of the way. (This is assuming you’re husband is properly working away and not just conveniently absent when needed.)

Arrange childcare, take your exam.

(‘your’ husband ...)

Thank you for all the replies. I don’t mean to drip feed but we’re a military family. I don’t have any family around and DH is genuinely working overseas a lot. The friend I normally ask to help in these situations has had a family bereavement. The school mum friend I have only known for a couple of months. She is lovely but her son has tonsillitis and has been off school on antibiotics. She has said she’ll still take my eldest for me but obviously now there’s a risk that she could have a sickness bug by then, or that she could be carrying the bug even if she hasn’t been sick by that point. I’d feel awful if she passed it on to friends poorly child.

Also, with regards to the sports day, it was her first school sports day and she was heartbroken when her dad left unexpectedly a week or so before. I made the decision to postpone my exam to the one the following month with the knowledge that I could catch back up. The course work is pretty heavy at the start but it’s not so bad the last few months so that’s when I was hoping to make the time up. My results so far are 97% and 94% so I’m doing really well. I do still have lots of studying to do for this exam in the next 3 days but I feel I will definitely pass, even if with a lower score than my other 2 exams.

97 and 94% - you are near genius level and I really hope you continue as your hard work is clearly paying off.

Hope you can make the exam okay, kids bounce back and I think you would have it by now if you were going to have it.

Good luck.

Thanks. I certainly wouldn’t call myself a genius. It’s only AAT (accountancy qualification), but after 15 years since leaving school, I’m proud of myself for going back to education.

@HannahBananaa - your doing amazingly well considering your hectic life!
I do think your overthinking this.Take a deep breath, focus on the fact you will be taking the exam and passing.
It’s only early on a Tuesday morning , meaning you have 3 days for any bugs to appear or disappear , an with young children , 24hrs is a longer time with their bugs.ive had my own children sick as dogs in morning yet by afternoon they were back to normal.
Plan to send your DD to your friends , revise where possible for your exam.
Anxiety about the exam could be at play here too.

Thanks @Thecrown3. Some of my worry comes from the fact that if I call today, there’s a chance they will let me reschedule it so I won’t lose my £100. If I end up unable to go on the day though, I’ll have no chance of recouping the money. We have scrimped and saved to pay for the course so I don’t really have £100 to just throw away 😔

So have faith , follow through with your plan to do it Friday .

@HannahBananaa how are you doing?

Hi thecrown, we are doing okay. DD2 is still unwell. She’s over the sickness bug but has a bad cough that she was up through the night numerous times with. I have her all wrapped up today. I’m just hoping she’ll be well enough for tomorrow 🤞🏼 DD1 is totally fine as am I (other than being exhausted). Studying is proving difficult because I’m so tired and last night my evening was spent taking care of poorly DD again. My biggest concern at the moment is whether DD will be well enough for nursery tomorrow. She doesn’t have a temperature, it is just a cough (although it is a pretty bad cough).

Morning @HannahBananaa.If it is only a cough I would just send her to nursery and try not to think of it.Well done for keeping studying through this, best of luck for tomorrow

Hi OP, I know you have hands full, I would just say, do you think you will get the grades you need?

If you think you will, then go for it. If you think it will impact the grades you need, then postpone.

That's the most important thing in the bigger picture.

Well done

I just thought I would update...

DD was up half the night, she couldn’t settle at all poor thing. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to send her to nursery but in the morning she wasn’t quite so bad so I took her along.

Sat my exam and got 96%.

Thanks everyone for talking me down when my worries were getting on top of me. I’m so pleased that I didn’t cancel it 😅

Great to hear!! Well done you. Celebrate OP

@GoldfishGirl thanks 😃

That is brilliant Hannah 🍾💐