Eddi, priest of St Wilfred, in his chapel at Manhood End
Ordered a Midnight Service for such as cared to attend
But the Saxons were keeping Christmas
And the night was stormy as well
Nobody came to the service, though Eddi rang the bell.
'Wicked weather for walking' said Eddi of Manhood End
'But I must go on with the service, for such as care to attend'
The altar-lamps were lighted, –
An old marsh-donkey came,
Bold as a guest invited,
And stared at the guttering flame.
The storm beat on at the windows,
The water splashed on the floor,
And a wet, yoke-weary bullock
Pushed in through the open door.
'How do I know what is greatest,
How do I know what is least?
That is My Father's business,'
Said Eddi, Wilfrid's priest.
'But – three are gathered together –
Listen to me and attend.
I bring good news, my brethren!'
Said Eddi of Manhood End.
And he told the Ox of a Manger
And a Stall in Bethlehem,
And he spoke to the Ass of a Rider,
That rode to Jerusalem.
They steamed and dripped in the chancel,
They listened and never stirred,
While, just as though they were Bishops,
Eddi preached them The Word,
Till the gale blew off on the marshes
And the windows showed the day,
And the Ox and the Ass together
Wheeled and clattered away.
And when the Saxons mocked him,
Said Eddi of Manhood End,
'I dare not shut His chapel
On such as care to attend.'
Learned that bugger when I was five years old to recite at the Nativity.
Other than that, the entire Greek alphabet, 'the square of the hypoteneuse is equal to the sum of the square of the two adjacent sides', Some Obnoxious Herbert Calculated An 'Orrible Type Of Algebra and the valve fingering for a Bb Trumpet or Cornet.