Whenever I organise an invite for friends/ family to visit us/ stay for the weekend he seems to go into this sort of very distant place, is snappy with me and quite unfriendly. He often has to go an "lie down" with no explanation leaving me to host.
We once had a new years eve party and half way through the day of getting the house ready, it was as though he was really working against me and while the party was actually happening he disappeared upstairs and had a "lie down" he is very technical and people were asking if they could change the music but I didn't know how to use the PA that DH had borrowed and it all just went a bit weird.
He was furious that I'd asked him to bathe DD (when I HAVE DONE IT EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE 3 YEARS!) because me and my dad were face timing my sister and us all chatting as a three is about a once a year thing.
His DD has an ASD diagnosis and is on anti-anxiety medication and my DH seems never to have identified that he is really anxious himself, he fully acknowledges depression though and has therapy fortnightly to help with this.
It annoys me because when his own parents visit, I make a real effort to be hospitable but this weekend with my dad visiting he kept telling my dad off for making to much noise (he wasn't) when our DD was in bed and was furious with me for "taking too long in the toilet" at a Christmas Bazar that we all attended because our DD was crying.
I don't invite his friends (who have became mutual friends) round anymore because DH has this sort of morose front he puts on (defence mechanism) and I hate inviting friends because he sometimes takes the piss out of me in front of them or uses me as the butt of his jokes an I find this really embarrassing.
When we are alone, he is really kind to me and smiley etc but it bothers me that he has this blind spot and my friends/ family must think that Im with a right grumpy bastard when really he is funny, kind, generous and loving.
I cried in an argument recently and told him that it really upsets me and he apologised and promised that he would not do it and that he does it because he is socially awkward.
I've got DD's birthday ahead and I know that Ill be left to either clean, shop, cook, invite, host and organised myself or delegate to him which means he hates me for the whole lead up.
I'm getting really sick of it and need to broach it.
In his favour, I did return from work on Friday to find that he had cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed the spare room, laid towels out for my dad and washed up all weekend but any kind of outing we had he was off with me and when me and my dad took my daughter out on our own, he stopped talking to me fro that point onwards.
When my dad left, he was all amorous and tried to have sex but was so hurt by how rude/ horrible he had been, I can't forgive him.