To tactfully tell someone, not to buy a present

[Tothemoonandbackx]

It's my daughters 1st Birthday coming up soon, and I'm inviting a small group of close family and friends to celebrate, one of my friends is having a few money worries at the moment and I don't want her to feel like she has to contribute a present, as I'm sure my daughter will have enough from family. I'm just wondering how I can tactfully tell her she doesn't have to get her one as I know she needs the money more than my daughter would need another present, but I don't want her to think she couldn't afford something for her either, if that makes sense. Thank you for any suggestions in advance x

I wouldn't, let them buy a gift if they wish! I speak as the poor relation and it would make me feel awfully conspicuous if I was asked not to buy a gift!

It's not that I want to tell her to not buy one, but sort of suggest that she really doesn't have to without it making it seem as if I'm saying, I know you could do with the money more than my daughter would need a present from you 🤔💁🏻‍♀️ x

I don't know why its added the symbols after the last message x

Say something like ‘please don’t feel you need to give X a gift, she is given so many things by kind friends and family but she genuinely doesn’t need anything & I end up passing most things on to the charity shop’.

I used to say this to friends, it was true, our DS was ridiculously overwhelmed with gifts and we just didn’t need so much ‘stuff’ in our lives.

"I'm asking people not to buy presents if that's ok as family have gone overboard and I just don't have the room for any more!"

People like to make gestures and taking that away can cause upset so is there a gesture you could suggest that would be an easy out..

For example saying as your DD is too young to understand presents you're making a special memory box for her 21st and are asking for contributions of little handwritten notes and photos of memories of her first year and stories about the people important in her young life.

Thank you all for your suggestions, I'm writing a note to put in the invite as I don't know when I'll see her in person next, due to work etc. Forgot to mention she's got two DC, this is the middle part of the note, first part is about party stuff, how does this sound, "and please don't feel you have to buy (my DD) a present, I've got a feeling that she may have too many by the time my parents, DP's parents, grandparents, etc have got her something, and with it being so close to Christmas too, the house is going to be in overload, lol, but I know she'd love a handmade card from your DD's as I'll be saving them all up for her" and then some kisses and doodles of hearts xx

I’ve previously invited people round and said “just bring yourself- we’ve got plenty of food and drink organised and no need for presents, we’re just wanting our nearest and dearest round to help us celebrate”. For some reason I find it easier to say it that way rather than as a stand alone statement!

What about suggesting that you're asking people to write a little message in a memory book as a present so DD can look back and cherish it in future? Twee but free!

An aunt last year announced 'oh I hate all these presents, it's all tat! No need'...not tactful but she's definitely not receiving any more from me so it did the job.