Little rules you live by

[ladybee28]

Discussing this with a couple of friends the other day – the tiny 'rules for life' you've picked up or developed along the way, that aren't fundamental principles of being a decent person, but that do make life better.

Some of theirs:

• "If you can do it in less than 2 minutes, do it immediately"
• "Never say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face"
• "If you're going to say hello to the dog, say hello to the owner."
• "Open a window first thing in the morning, no matter what the weather."

A few of mine:

• "When someone (rightly) corrects you, say thank you." (This has transformed the way I feel about learning the language in my new country)

• "Wherever possible, replace the word 'but' with the word 'and'." (For example, "I love my sister, AND she drives me mental sometimes." Or "I'd love to try public speaking, AND I'm really scared.")

• "If you think a compliment, open your mouth and let it out."

What are some of yours?

Being kind means being kind to yourself.

If you can't be bothered do ten tiny things.

Great thread!

Always stick to a commitment

If at first you don’t succeed Try try and try again

Everyone has a good point, find it

Love someone when they least deserve it, because that's when they really need it.

Really thought provoking, thank you.

If someone points out a small mistake I've made at work I always thank them. It sounds more sincere than 'sorry' and makes us both feel better.

One that I first read on MN:

If you can't win the game, change the game.

Avoid one-way friendships. You arrange to meet up with them once, then you wait for them to arrange to meet up. If it never comes then you haven't lost a friend because they weren't that bothered about you to start with. And at least you haven't humiliated yourself by chasing someone who doesn't want to know. Once they've arranged the next outing, then it's your turn again.

Don't dwell on the past or have regrets. If you have hurt someone, apologise.

Concentrate on the important stuff and spend as little time as possible on the meaningless admin (job-related).

Always at least clean your teeth and wash your face, even if you can’t manage anything else.

Your children need your love the most when they seem to deserve it least.

Always leave your loved ones with a kiss. You never know when it might be the last time.

Never go to sleep on an argument.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to others.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Stole this one from the Dalai Llama but It is the “it is always possible” that makes me stop and think.

Above all else, be kind.
It'll be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.

A great thread - some gems on here

I don’t go up or downstairs empty handed

I do the ‘worst first’ Ie the job I hate doing the most first either at work or at home if housework

Kindness costs nothing

Patience is a virtue

Be the change to you want to see

Oh, and at least leave things as you find them, if not better.

Don't put it down, put it away!

Always pay it forward. If someone holds a door for you, do the same.

Always smile, no matter what.

Let a spider run alive.

Tell people you love them, it matters.

When someone is struggling, be silent support, just sit beside them. No pressure (it's what I like to receive when I'm struggling)

Tidy up as you go along.
Do the tricky things first, then they're out of the way.
Good manners cost nothing.
If you're not using it, someone else can borrow it (stepladder, beach hut, lawnmower, cot, whatever).

I agree about compliments: they always cheer people up!

Kindness to myself & others
Teach children good manners
Learn to accept compliments and criticism
It’s ok to say no

Don't write anything you wouldn't say out loud/to the person.

A place for everything and everything in its place.
Seen in an old eel pie and mash shop years ago.

'You catch more bees with honey than vinegar'

And

How important is it ? (Ie don't sweat the small stuff)

Never put things off. Do it now.
Make your bed as soon as you get up.
Keep in contact with people you care about.

Motivation is a fickle friend, but habit is your homegirl.

Never do a journey that involves more than one bus

On secret Santa at work...

If you wouldn't give it to your Grandma, don't give it to your colleague.

For a dreaded or impossible-feeling task - just do the next thing. And carry on until there are no more next things.

For anything written down, think ‘would I be embarrassed if this was on the front page of The Times’?

In a relationship, just keep talking. Nothing is solved by silence.

Also loving "if you can't get out of it, get into it", will be using that one.

Just ten minutes (I'll say I/we only have to do ten mins of something we're not keen on, and then more often than not we carry on and enjoy it/get it done).

Everybody deserves at least two chances. (From my MIL, who would allow a person to be a twit to her once as they might just be having a bad day, but do it twice and she'd be having words with you.)

You're not the star in their story (reminds me we are each only the star in our own story, and actually most of the time other people are definitely not watching/judging what you're doing, so no need to worry about it).

Don't stress over things you can't change. It has helped me enormously.