What survival skills have you learnt from the movies?

[chomalungma]

Watching Independence Day (again)

UFOs appear over a major city? Get out as fast as you can

Asteroids coming?
Get out and get to high ground (although you'll probably die anyway)

Under attack by planes?
Don't hide under any vehicle as they are likely to blow up

Under attack by dinosaurs?
Stay still, They can't see you if you don't move. And don't wave lights about

Scream - don’t go up the stairs, run out the door!

Bike is ready to go but perhaps I should have an emergency pack to whack in my panniers, that would be sensible. The lights double up as torches, fuck me im so sorted. See you on the other side suckers.

If you are with a friend, don't split up.

If a friend is coming to meet you, but doesn't get out of their car and just looks at you and motions you to come over, be very careful. It's probably a trap

If you’re going to space, take a fire extinguisher.

If men break into the apartment you are staying in, hide under the bed and ring your Dad. He will find them and rescue you....

If you are near a river and are being followed, use a reed as an air pipe.

It also stops dogs tracking you.

If you are in space , don't wear a red shirt. Just don't.

Sit next to liam Neeson on a flight

If my plane crashes in the Andes, it’s best to freeze and eat the passengers who did not survive.

Sprinkle salt on leeches to get them off your skin, they did this in Monster From the Black Lagoon.

I agree with the Liam Neeson tip, we will have to take turns!

Stay behind Steven Seagal.

Wear hair clips, you will miraculously be able to pick any locks.

Do NOT shag James Bond.

If there's a lunatic or supernatural being on the prowl, wear a tiny vest top and hot pants at the very most and make sure you are the most conventionally pretty female present. And go to bed with immaculate hair and makeup incase anything goes bump in the night.

If your plane crashes in the mountains and you are forced to eat those who did not survive, don't bother eating the hands and feet, too boney.

Cooking ingredients plus microwave =bomb

People frequently mistake my DH for Liam Neeson, do you think a lookalike means I might be ok?

Do NOT shag James Bond

That's very good advice

If you need to keep warm in Baltic weather, find a dead deer and hop inside, under its ribs!

Never leave popcorn on the stove.

Young and attractive? Hook up with a man who will rescue you, risking his own life as he does so. As a bonus you will fall in love forever with his heroic manliness.

Middle aged and less attractive? Sorry, you're expendable. Don't even try to survive, you'll only embarrass yourself.

Never float around on a yellow sunbed in the sea, unless you really want to be shark bait.

If you are in the bomb squad and you are trying to catch a bomber, just be careful when you enter their house.

If you are in a ship and it capsizes, head for the propellor shaft. It's where the hull is thinnest. Well, that's true in the 70s

Don’t go down the cellar, on your own, with only a flickering flashlight/guttering candle for illumination.
Wear good quality, supportive footwear at all times, otherwise you will definitely sprain your ankle.
Don’t forget: you don’t have to be able to run faster than your pursuers, just faster than your companions.
A Swiss Army penknife is your best friend. The more gadgets on it, the better.

@2gorgeousboys you're pretty fucked then if you have a divan