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I'm ok until someone better comes along

3 replies

Stressmess · 16/11/2019 16:27

As the title says I'm ok until someone better comes along. This seems to have happened my whole life with different people and different groups so I guess it must be me. I would describe myself as being kind and a good listener but there always seems to be someone who trumps me by being more interesting, talkative engaging etc.

Two recent examples. I was at an event were I was talking to a woman I know. Her children are below mine in the same school. I thought we were having a nice conversation. We were talking about the children and school and I know she is doing a part time university course so I was taking an interest in that. Then another woman come in and she just was up and away, give her a hug and started chatting away to her and I was just left.

Second example I take my children to swimming lessons every week. There is another Mum and her child goes to the same School as mine and we always talk. The last few weeks I feel that she has snubbed me and I am hurt by it as I really enjoyed and looked forward to her chats and I am annoyed with myself for feeling like this. There is another group of Mums. One is very obviously Queen Bee of the group and she has two hangers on and occasionally a third one and the Mum I like is trying to engage with them and edge herself into the group. She now makes a point of going over and sitting beside them and I am left on my own. The group completely ignore me even though all our children are in the same swimming class. It deflates me every week.

I just thought things would be different when I became an adult and had children of my own but it hasn't. I just never seem to be enough and feel quite sad about it.

OP posts:
FredaFrogspawn · 16/11/2019 16:31

I think in life a moderated sense of entitlement can be really useful. Approach the swimming pool group as someone with an entitlement to be included and join them.

The playground woman sounded rude but maybe she was waiting specifically for this friend rather than it be personal as such. Assume it’s them not you.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 16/11/2019 16:32

Same here, but I have ASD so I often miss cues and it seems to make it worse. I have been treated very shabbily by 'friends' in the past and now I don't trust anyone. These threads pop up on here every so often about loneliness, so it's not just us.

Stressmess · 16/11/2019 22:19

bumping.

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