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Original poster

Mums / Dads of newborn identical twins...

54 replies

EffYouSeeKaye · 16/11/2019 16:07

Are you absolutely, completely positive you have never mixed them up? Particularly if you are keen on matching outfits?

Having found my missing keys in the freezer, and put coffee granules in the baby bottles, I’m wondering if this is another possible outcome of exhaustion

OP posts:

m0therofdragons · 16/11/2019 21:21

We painted a toe nail on each before cutting their name bands off.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 16/11/2019 21:24

Wow this has never occurred to me. I always assumed twin parents just ‘knew’.

Winterdaysarehere · 16/11/2019 21:33

I once fostered 7 dkittens. All had colour coded claws painted and kept the chart in my purse for feeding times!!
Twins would be a breeze ime!!

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SlayingDragons · 16/11/2019 21:37

I read somewhere that about 30% of ID twins are likely to be the “wrong one”.

I am 100% certain my ID twins are who they really are - they were separated at birth (one was rushed straight to NICU) and were never in the same hospital cots. When we got them home we painted their big toe nails different colours (which matched the colours of their blankets) and we stuck with that until they were about 6 weeks old.

By that point we had realised that their crowns were on opposite sides of their heads. It meant we always had something that wouldn’t change to tell them apart, but also meant that we had to look at the backs of their heads to be sure! As they’ve got older their hair partings have continued to be used by people to tell them apart (until they started wearing their hair tied back in a ponytail which just confused everyone!)

SlayingDragons · 16/11/2019 21:40

As for weights - DT2 was the heavier one at birth, but they both lost so much weight that they ended up almost the same weight. Now it seems that one will always have a growth spurt about a month before the other one and then the second one will catch up. At the minute DT1 is a tiny bit taller and a tiny bit rounder/broader. By Christmas I would bet it’s the other way around!

MsAwesomeDragon · 16/11/2019 21:49

I teach several pairs of id twins (in different classes) and had the least difficulty with the ones who looked the most identical. I first met them in year 7, and tbh most of the boys looked very similar to me, short blonde hair, angelic face, sort of generic nice boy (the naughty kids or the unusual looking kids or the kids that I teach their siblings are easier to learn names and faces). When it came round to making parents evening I was making appointments, one of them said "you can just do one appointment for me and X" and that was the point where I looked more carefully at them and noticed that they were completely identical . How I hadn't noticed in the 3 months I'd been teaching them I don't know! Their mum thought it was hilarious and told me I was the first person ever to have got to know them separately even though I met them on the same day. The boys still tease me about it now, years later!

CactusAndCacti · 16/11/2019 22:56

One of my work colleagues has id twins and I asked him this question. He admitted that he didn't really have a clue, luckily his dw did. He did tell me that there is a slight difference, but as already been mentioned it was easier when they were together.

DD2 has id twins in her class - she has only just joined in yr3 and I asked her she knew which was which - she looked at me and just said T wears glasses.

Alwaysfrank · 16/11/2019 23:08

One of mine had a small visible vein between his eyebrows when young so that was how we knew for sure. Looking back at photos they have no idea themselves who is who, but I'm usually fairly confident. They do look slightly different though and if people know them well can usually tell them apart.

Interestingly when they were younger if I saw twin A in isolation I might think twin A was twin B, but never the other way around, in other words I would never see twin B in isolation and think he was twin A. Hard to explain but I know what I mean!

Bluerussian · 16/11/2019 23:12

Aw sweet, I always wanted twins (or thought I did); my intention was, if I ever did have identical twins, was to have two distinct sets of clothes, labelled, never to be muddled up. I wouldn't ever have dressed them the same. Then when they started growing more hair, I would do their hair differently. I felt strongly they should be individuals and not merely 'the twins'.

However, being as I'm almost seventy, it ain't gonna happen :-).

BlueEyedFloozy · 16/11/2019 23:20

I have ID twin sisters - they're teens now and we still get them mixed up when they're on their own sometimes but you can tell them apart easily when they're together.

My Mum thought something was wrong with #1 when she was about 6 weeks because she wouldn't take a feed, seemed really sleepy and had a bone dry nappy - it took their Dad to point out that he had just told her he had put #1 down 5 minutes beforehand. She thought #1 was #2 🙄

rainbowlou · 16/11/2019 23:22

I was a nanny for identical twins and quite often their mum would come home and gently remind me they were in the wrong cot/clothes etc!

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 16/11/2019 23:22

My friend's ID TDD were looking at this term's school photos and couldn't tell which of them was which! If they can't recognise themselves, there's no hope for us!

mumwon · 16/11/2019 23:31

I looked after identical twins & another dc same age - starting changing all three nappies got distracted & couldn't figure out which one I hadn't done (cue me checking all 3) as with pp they were mirror image twins so their hair whorls were on opposite sides at the back of their head (interestingly one was potty trained before the other).

JaniceBattersby · 16/11/2019 23:32

My sister had identical twins and when they were a few days old she suddenly fell very ill and had to be taken into ICU. My mum and I had to look after the twins. We had no idea which was which and mixed them up several times. When my sister recovered a couple of days later we took them to her and she groggily told us we’d dressed them in the wrong clothes. She swears to this day that they’ve looked completely different from the second they were born. They’re ten now and nobody apart from their mum and dad can tell them apart at all. They’re still totally identical.

TheJoxter · 16/11/2019 23:43

Not me but a close family member has identical twins, one was natural birth and one was emergency caesarean so the ended up with totally different shaped heads (natural birth resulted in a more squashed head) they’re early teens now and the one born by caesarean still has a rounder head and much more even features than the one born naturally

twinmum2017 · 17/11/2019 07:14

@Alwaysfrank I know what you mean! We had exactly the same with ours. I always knew if it was twin 2, but if it was twin 1 I was never certain 🤷🏻‍♀️

SlayingDragons · 17/11/2019 08:41

@Bluerussian that was our thinking too. In fact, if people gave us matching outfits as gifts we just gave them both to the same baby and then the next time it happened the other baby got the gift. We never dressed them the same and even when they started school we put one in a skirt and one in a pinafore. Now though, at age 10 they choose to dress the same, or at the very least coordinating. They’ve done it for years now and it doesn’t show any signs of abating yet.

My DTs aren’t mirror image twins - we know for sure because mirror image twins are essentially one step down from conjoined twins in terms of when the egg splits (ie. very late) and their egg split very early because although they are ID they were in separate sacs. The crown on their heads is the only thing that is mirror image. I am totally fascinated by genuine mirror image twins though - right/left handed, getting/losing teeth on opposite sides etc

drspouse · 17/11/2019 08:49

This is really interesting! I was at school with ID twins and one had a lot more freckles than the other; now I think about it I had thought freckles were genetic but I guess "having freckles" is but where they are isn't.

poorbuthappy · 17/11/2019 08:54

I'm quite sure we mixed them up.
All the way through their babyhood they were under consultant care and therefore weighed regularly. Twin 2 was always slightly heavier than twin 1 (even at birth).
One appt I went with my sister and had a baby each. The nurse took the baby off me and asked which twin it was and me and my sister just looked at each other!
So we made a choice and that was the only day twin 1 weighed more then twin 2. So who knows!! Photos are the best. They ask us who's who....and we have no idea.

Strugglingmum73 · 17/11/2019 09:11

Definitely nail varnish

Original poster

EffYouSeeKaye · 17/11/2019 19:14

I’m so glad I asked! Fascinating reading, everyone has such great stories to tell. Thanks so much for sharing. So many older twins set such store in who is the ‘older’ twin - there must be lots around who have been robbed of that title in the mix

OP posts:

SlayingDragons · 17/11/2019 19:34

Well mine was an emcs and I was already fully dilated when they did the cs and twin1 was in the birth canal - so actually, twin1 became twin2 and twin2 became twin1!

SlayingDragons · 17/11/2019 19:35

They don’t know that btw and it was such a quick delivery because twin2’s heartrate was dangerously low that there was literally about 30sec between them so although twin1 knows and says she’s the oldest, it really doesn’t hold much store for her because she knows it was so quick

Aragog · 17/11/2019 19:41

I have taught a few sets of twins now, including a few sets of identical twins. Some are so identical it is so hard. Especially as, though i n primary, I only teach each class once or twice a week.

A couple of years I never quite managed to know which by was which most of the time. It wasn't helped by the fact that they answered for one another, and both were happy to be referred to as either name. If you studied them really carefully then one by had a very slightly narrower face - but you only knew that if they were stood together and you stared hard!

We had a trainee teacher in the class for a while. It took her more than a week in class to know there were two of them. She just assumed there was one very active boy in the room!!!

Currently have another set of very identical girls just started. Not worked out which is which yet!

itstrue · 17/11/2019 19:43

My girls are 12 now but I had a night with no sleep pondering this when they were first born!

If I mixed them up - I would never know to unmix them!!!!

One of my girls had an operation before leaving NICU which left a scar so I was confident mine could never be mixed up!

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