Hi all I am new to this forum, I am looking for honest opinions On this subject so here we go...
I have been with my husband for 17 years married for 7, we have 2 beautiful little girls aged 2 & 4.
Before the girls came along we were living in bliss! Only had to think of each other etc etc.
Obviously a few years down the line things are now VERY different, both myself and my husband work full time one daughter is in school the other is in nursery.
My typical day starts at 6 am I get up, get dressed, get the girls up, get them dressed, give them breakfast, and we are out of the door for 7.40am every morning. I drop my eldest daughter at breakfast club, then on to the nursery for 8am and then arrive at work for 8.30.
I leave work at 4.30pm collect the youngest at 4.30, eldest at 5. Then it’s back home, I bath both children, I give them supper, read them a story do homework and then they are away to bed At 7pm.
Once they are in bed I then sort nursery and school bags for next morning, prep and cook tea, make lunches, and either empty the dishwasher or empty the washing machine, there is always one to do!!
Dinner is usually ready for 8.00, myself and my husband eat I then clean plates away etc and sit down for around 9pm, my husband goes to bed at 9.00 I tend to stay up until 10.00 and attempt to unwind. Weekends consist of me hoovering in the morning, take eldest swimming, home for dinner, cook dinner/tea entertain the children and then same routine for bed.
I do all the house work, cooking, washing, childcare, parties, swimming lessons, ballet, endless school functions.... sundays are a family day, we will go to the park, play at home and will then have Sunday dinner.
My husband gets up at 5.30 am goes to work and is home for 6.30 and works every other Saturday. I am not disputing that he works hard he truly does but... he does literally NOTHING else... not a thing, the Saturday he doesn’t work, he catches up with friends, cuts the grass, or washes his car (never has he ever done mine at the same time only ever his own.
I am now at the point where I am starting to feel that this is all a bit unfair, I have questioned it several times, his response is to argue with me that it’s not fair that I always whinge at home and he is out of the house for 13 hours of the day, which I whole heartily accept, he does work hard, and he is a loving dad, but seriously??!!! Not a thing? Not 1 meal, 1 bath time, 1 load of washing, never made lunches, never done the school run.
Now I personally think I work hard, I am a manager of a groundwork company that employs 30+ staff, I work full time. I have NO help with the children we do not have any family near by, and never have I had a friend offer to help, so raising the children is solely on my shoulders.
Should I suck it up and accept That yes he works hard And longer hours than me, an I being unfair expecting a bit of help?
What do I do from here? I have no social life so don’t go out, unless it’s a wedding or Xmas party, a lot of my friends don’t have children, so I rarely see the ones I have. I just don’t know what to do,