Should I pay or should my friend?

[MrsZippyLake]

My close friend is childless (by choice) but (at my suggestion as she is feeling lonely after her long-term relationship broke down six months ago), she would like to develop a “quasi godparent” type relationship with my elder DD and we’ve arranged that she will take her out for the afternoon soon.

The question is who should pay? My friend earns a reasonable salary but I am fortunate enough to have quite a bit more disposable income than her so wonder whether I should give her some cash for their afternoon out? Or would this seem patronising? Or should I just pay for her dinner next time we go out? What do other people do?

Therefore I thought it might be nice for her to spend time with her close friends’ children.

Was your friend enthusiastic about taking your daughter out?

Yes. Well I assume so as she was the one who reminded me we had discussed it and when should we arrange it for!

Ah well that's lovely. I sure she'd be expecting to pay in that case.

if the suggestion has come from you, you pay. if it has come from friend, she pays.

I think it sounds lovely. I’d give your daughter a bit of pocket money so if she sees something she’d like to buy, your friend doesn’t feel obligated.

Just to explain a bit more... When I suggested it, I was putting myself in my friend’s shoes. If I was childless, I would want to develop a close relationship with my nieces/nephews. However, she is an only child so doesn’t have that option. Therefore I thought it might be nice for her to spend time with her close friends’ children.

Your friend is childless by choice - has she ever even indicated that she'd like to spend time with any kids, or do you think she is somehow missing out by not having any? From the above paragraph it seems it's all about you and what you think - what does she think?

Op, you should give your daughter the money and then tell your friend that your daughter has the money to pay for herself. Explain to her you are grateful for the time spent but would never expect her to pay as well.

Make sure you daughter hands the cash over st time to pay without being asked.

Sounds a little odd to be honest.

Why cant you all go together.

Regardless, i think you need to pay for your daughter if going somewhere / for food / drinks etc