Sleep, earplugs, planning a baby

[itsnotunusualtobeloved]

I have got myself into a habit that I desperately want to break.

I can't sleep without earplugs.

The earplugs themselves I dislike - I sometimes wake with a terrible itching in my ear canal and have to go at it with a cotton bud like a mad woman. I use cotton buds every morning too - I don't push it right down my ear, its just to itch them really. I worry about pushing the wax into my ear and damaging it, but the urge to itch is too overwhelming.

Sometimes the way I've inserted the earplug will cause air to get trapped and then I have bad ear ache.

We are planning another child and I really want to wean myself off the earplugs before this happens, otherwise I don't know what I'll do.

Thing is, even with my earplugs in - if I am woken, I find it very hard to get back to sleep. Over the years I have tried breathing exercises, meditation, getting up and doing yoga, tossing and turning. That is why I depend on them so much. It is less likely I will be woken, therefore less likely I will get a sleepless night.

Last night I tried without the earplugs. My DH said he would take the sofa for the first night without them...I slept well until I went to the toilet and I could hear him snoring (he's not even loud) and ended up putting the earplugs in.

I wish I didn't care so much about my sleep. Is there anything I can do?

Any suggestions / wise words / experiences / sympathy??

bump

I have a baby and I sleep with earplugs! Otherwise I wake up at every tiny noise he makes. I find that I still wake when he needs me (or when the older two do) but it saves me waking multiple times a night at every noise and movement.

I always slept with ear plugs before I had dc. I just ditched them when our first was born. I've also always taken sleeping tablets, because like you, if I wake up, I won't go back to sleep. I found in the first year or two with oldest dc, I was tired enough anyway that neither was an issue. We co-slept anyway, so I would have just had to manage without because it wouldn't have been safe to use either. I did start up again for a bit I think when my then 2 year old moved into a bed in our room (so we were no longer co-sleeping in the same bed). I'd still wake up if she shouted, and obviously dh was there, so was fine.

Honestly, if it's working, I'd keep it up until your new baby is born. Use the exhaustion to your advantage as you'll likely sleep better then anyway. If you aren't co-sleeping, you can probably start using them again after a bit, assuming you have a partner who can just wake you if the baby needs you (or get up himself).

Thank you both

With my first child I survived 6 months without earplugs...and without sleep... I felt so guilty when I started using the earplugs again at 6 months.. but I was so sleep deprived I thought I would actually die (ex was useless). Its good to hear its not so bad, and other people have done the same.

Even the exhaustion didn't help me sleep - only the earplugs did. Its like as soon as I put them in I give myself permission to sleep. Its so weird and I wish I could change this pattern of thinking.

I feel absolutely the same about them. I think it’s a psychological thing... as soon as my earplugs are in I feel like I can relax and sleep.
I don’t see what’s so bad about having them in with a baby though... I still hear when he cries, and DH doesn’t wear earplugs so hears him too, so on the occasions DH wakes up to him before me he either wakes me or gets up and deals with him.

I think when I had my son, I was basically a single mum. I thought, if he chokes, I won't hear him. If he stops breathing, I won't hear him. But my exhaustion got to breaking point and the earplugs won. And of course my son didn't die while I slept!

Its a love hate relationship with them really. I need them and I hate needing them.

You can get baby monitors that have a vibrating pillow pad alert. They're for deaf/HOH but if you wanted to keep using ear plugs they might be an option? I think Connevans stock them. One is called Watch and Care.

I also can't sleep without earplugs. During the tibybaby days DH and I would take it in turns to have or not have earplugs in the first or second half of the night, and I would expect to only be able to doze without earplugs (I can usually drift off a bit but will wake at the slightest noise)

These days with older DC I just wear them every night, but if a DC is sick I will sleep on my side, and just have an earplug in my "top" ear leaving the other ear open, which leaves me enough hearing that I will wake if there's a deliberate noise like a child's call for help, but I won't be woken by a moth sneezing in the house next door but one.

Not much help, sorry, but the baby monitor with a vibrating alert sounds like a really good idea - I could have got a lot more sleep in the early days with one of those.

My mum has three of us and always wore ear plugs.

I used to hear her getting up in the night to my brother so I know she didn't sleep through his cries.

I have worn foam earplugs for 10+ years, tried a few nights without them once DD was born but slept so badly despite being exhausted. I could hear her with earplugs in when she slept in our room and once she moved to her own room I could hear her on the baby monitor. In fact I think they helped as they stopped me jumping up for every little squeak and I definitely sleep much better with them in, so win win.

Just a thought, do you think something like a white noise machine would help? I have a Philips sunrise alarm clock that you can set to play white noise as you fall asleep, it’s really good for filtering out background noise and I sleep so much better. If I wake up in the night I just restart it and I can go back to sleep, whereas before I had it I would just lie awake. Maybe if you’ve “trained” yourself to only fall asleep with earplugs, you could “train” yourself to only fall asleep with white noise?

I sleep with earplugs and white noise and still hear the slightest noise on the monitor!

I slept with earplugs when I had a baby. I could still hear if he woke. They helped actually because it's good not to spring up at the first sign of stirring because sometimes (only sometimes sadly) they settle again.

I sleep with ear plugs. Never had ear ache from them or wax issues. Maybe you should try a different type?
I've worn them and have three kids, youngest 18months. I always hear his cries. It's the low pitch noises they block out, such as snoring or house settling.

Woke up with itchy ears and now wide awake! Annoying.

Didn't expect so many replies, so thank you all. Its reassuring that so many are the same as me, and don't see an issue with it. That's really made me feel better.

The vibration thing is a very good idea.

Thinking back, yes the earplugs were good because I didn't jump up and pick baby up at every tiny sound.

I've tried every single earplug known to man over the course of 20 years, the most agreeable are the disposal foam ones, they are most effective and don't make my ears sweaty like the wax ones. But they do make me itchy, it drives me mad.

I've tried white noise when I had baby, before I opted for earplug, unfortunately didn't help wither if us to sleep. Although I could give it another try I guess.

Anyway just to say thanks again to you all for posting x

I use the silicone ones and thankfully don’t get sweaty or itchy ears.

Could you wean yourself off by switching over to some of those earphones in a soft stretchy headband? You could play quiet white noise or similar.

Ah, just seen no to white noise. Maybe quiet music or audiobooks then.

I used to go to sleep with music as a child / teenager. I may just try that again. My DS has just discovered that classical music helps him nod off...I may follow suit :)

Also might give the silicone ones another try

The wax ones are RANK

You have identified the fact that the earplugs are a trigger fire sleep rather than helping you sleep per se. I think that the tiny baby will make enough noise or wriggle enough if in your bed to alert you so I don't think that should be a worry but I really don't think you should be making your ears itchy or using cotton buds to itch them. You are likely to be risking a skin infection in your ear and to be increasing wax production .
Try to find a different sleep trigger and really work at it.

I really don't think you should be making your ears itchy or using cotton buds to itch them. You are likely to be risking a skin infection in your ear and to be increasing wax production

This.

I hate that I might be damaging my ears. Honestly sometimes my ears kill me in the night, or if I take them out / put them in funny it does hurt.

I want to be rid of them. I feel like a slave to the little bastards!

Instead of cotton buds, try a twist of loo paper or tissue.

Instead of cotton buds, try a twist of loo paper or tissue

Too soft! The itchiness is maddening, sometimes I go at it so hard the cotton wool comes loose

Have you been to the doctor to have them check inside your ears recently? If they are really itchy it could be a sign that there is an infection bubbling away in there.