I made my baby cry last night

[Bonfuddled]

Sleep is pretty rare at the moment and my 10
Month old DS was awake until 4am This morning. I'm beyond tired. To make things worse he was biting and kicking me through the night and around 2am I got so frustrated I cried with anger/exhaustion. This made me sob, I felt so guilty that I'd made him cry. I still feel so guilty now although he appears fine.
Do they forget? I feel dreadful

Are you co sleeping? -Is he in a cotbed beside your bed? He might need more space. At 10 months he is probably teething. Try giving him pain relief or rub some bonjela on his gums. Don't feel bad, every parent feels exasperated from lack of sleep at some stage.

We are co sleeping but he has plenty of space. I think he's about to start walking and heard that it affects their sleep. I can normally cope but last night was just awful. Can't stop beating myself up about it :(

You sound like you’re coping remarkably well with a non-sleeping baby. Anyone would be frustrated. You did nothing wrong and it has done your baby no harm

Sorry I am not clear on why he cried, did he cry because you cried? There is nothing there to feel guilty about, he will have no lasting memory of last night

You need to sleep train your baby. For his welfare and yours. This amount of sleep is terrible for both of you.

We've all been there. There's only so far you can be pushed before you snap

He will have already forgotten. At that age they live in the moment. You're still his world and he still loves you. It was a one off and not a regular thing. I know you feel dreadful right now but be kind to yourself and try to enjoy your day with him. He's ok and you're allowed to be as well.

There is a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. I still find it hard to believe that I survived the years without a good night's sleep when my kids were babies. Don't feel bad, I have been there with bells on and come out the other side - it will get better. Be kind to yourself.

I agree that you need to improve his sleep hygiene and put in a fixed sleep routine. If he isn’t sleeping well with you it’s time for his own room - and you need to set up an unshakeable routine that shows him it’s bed time.

Ah darling this too will pass - from one non sleeping mummy to another have a big unmumsnetty hug

Awwww don't beat yourself up OP

Your baby won't remember . I myself find remembering anything much under the age of 5 or 6 nigh impossible anyway .

Very comforting posts, thank you so much that's just what I needed.
You can probably tell I'm a first time mum!

I have a 10 month old who is teething and clingy.... sometimes it's easier to let them co sleep but I've been there and it's hard work your not alone in this
I'm 34 weeks pregnant too and sometimes I just want an easy life lol

I was so tired with my first child that I thought I'd have a little sleep on the motorway, on my way to work. Luckily I realised what I was doing and stopped the car on the hard shoulder. She used to wake several times a night - the night before that she'd woken eight times to be fed.

With my second child things were clearly going the same way and the health visitor told me to do controlled crying. The first night he cried for 40 minutes - it seemed much longer. The second night he cried for 20 minutes. The third night he went down smiling and I never had any more trouble. I would persevere with this, even if it takes a few more nights. The health visitor said she'd never met anyone where it had taken more than a week.

If you're still breastfeeding, then I'd stop that, tbh. I know there'll be loads of people saying you should continue until the child says he wants to stop, but if it's preventing your DC from sleeping, it's time to stop.

This was me at 10 months. It will pass and magically one night you will both sleep. No need to stop feeding. Hang in there.

I remember when mine was about 2 months old, she was on my bed while i tried to roughly straighten my hair as i felt miserable and thought looking less like a had been dragged through a hedge would help, she started crying and i remember shouting at her, i had bad baby blues and it was a bad day, i still feel so awful about it now and she's 3, she remembers nothing and is a happy little thing. He'll be just fine OP, hope you get some sleep soon

Oh OP we all have those moments, don’t feel bad! And I know it’s a cliche but everything does seem worse in the middle of the night.

Sorry if I missed this but have you tried moving your little one in to their own room?
My DD was in with us until about 7 months and started waking again I really did not want her to be out of my touching distance at all and the first week I checked on her multiple times a night, (still do and she is 2 this weekend!) but as soon as she was in her own cot she slept through the night. I think myself and DH were inadvertently disturbing her.

It is up and down of course, just last night she woke up at 3am and ended up in our bed as she is unwell with a stinking cold, but most of the time she is a good sleeper with her own bed and routine.

If you don’t feel ready then of course don’t rush but it may be worth a shot? I have a camera monitor too so I can watch her in her cot all night if I want!

Hope you get some rest soon x

I have a 10 month old who has started walking, possibly cutting teeth and wakes hourly. (It's been worse than that as well).

I've left him to cry for 1 minute at a time to go into the living room and gather myself because it's so frustrating.

He'll be fine, but I just came on to sympathise.
It's not easy is it?

Don't beat yourself up OP

When they're toddlers it's even more like this. You end up snapping or shouting sometimes, they learn that humans have boundaries and being annoying can cause others to be angry. Which is something they need to know. You can make it up and discuss why people feel angry afterwards.

Co sleeping is great until it isn't, I agree sleep training can be the kindest thing if no one is getting any sleep. It's really about changing the baby's expectation that they need a boob to get to sleep and stay asleep. The crying bit is horrible but doesn't last long and then everyone is better rested and a bit more sane!

Thank you for the replies, very reassuring and I'm feeling much brighter now (especially as he's fast asleep!)
He's normally a good sleeper and only wakes a couple of times for a quick feed then he's off again but the last few nights have not been good. I know he's about to start walking & his teeth are giving him trouble so I know it's a phase that will pass. I'm just angry at myself for losing my patience, I've beat myself up all day about it.

I'm not ready to stop breastfeeding and neither is my baby so will carry on and hope this phase doesn't last long!

Breastfeed as long as you want to! I did 14 months, it doesn’t make them bad sleepers or any of the other rubbish people spout. I would just go in DD’s room if she woke and often fed her back to sleep.