I’m 90% convinced ds10 is autistic

[Foxton20]

Ds10 was diagnosed with global development delay at the age of 2.5. He was non verbal, couldn’t walk and constantly hand flapped. They said they wouldn’t diagnose him until a year later. Around this time my PND was extreme (my mum died when he was 6 weeks) and I didn’t stick to the meetings etc.

Fast forward years and he’s just turned 10. Life is very difficult. He’s The most loving boy and extremely smart (he’s just say a maths challenge for the county!) but he struggles so much socially and emotionally.

we feel like we are constantly walking on egg shells, he can’t take any jokes, he gets angry over anything, says what he thinks without thinking etc.

It’s the emotional outbursts at everything that’s causing us issues. It’s been going on since he was around 4/5. He could be so happy and funny then a switch and he’s crying, stomping, doing this hysterical cry.
His teacher mentioned she’s notice he’s impatient and can’t seem to wait, or tbat his peers can’t joke with him as he gets offended over everything.

I don’t know what to do, I feel like Iv failed him. I don’t know how to manage it anymore. It’s every single day, from the moment he gets up at ridiculous o’clock until he goes bed. He moans but it’s not jsut a moan it’s an over the top shouting, whining etc.

Do I take him doctors? I really worry. His “dad” has adhd and anger issues.

Absolutely go back to the doctors!

Pay privately for an assessment or just ADOS assessment.

Yes, take him to doctors for a start. Speak to school with your concern. They may give you some insight. Just worrying won't solve anything.

Yes I would ask to get him assessed. A really good book is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene (regardless of diagnosis).

Have school expressed any concerns? You really need an assessment.

Speak to the school and to the GP too. Our school filled in the paperwork and the teacher was so supportive. I took the paperwork to the GP and they were great at sending it off and doing a referral. Also recommend the Explosive Child.

Autistic children quite often ‘mask’ at school then explode when they get home, think of it like a cola bottle that gradually gets shaken up throughout the day. Does he fidgit? Is he tactile? Does he have sensory issues or like to touch certain things?

I keep ringing the school asking for some sort of therapy or something but they are rubbish.

I’m going to ring the doctors tomorrow for an appointment. Do I take him with me?

He hateeessss the shower, always has. He constantly says I’m shouting when I’m not.
He fidgets loads, he’s getting into doing something like clapping and then doesn’t stop doing it 😑😂

Like today he said “did you notice the certificate on the fridge this morning” I said no as Iv been out all day so he replied “see you don’t love me or care about me” 😑😑😑😑

School have just said he’s extremely smart and that he will do very well in life if we help him go forward.

My DD is 11 and in the back of my mind I suppose I’ve always suspected something, but only recently have I done something about it.

I made a GP’s appt (without my daughter present). I wrote out a list of the behaviours I was concerned about. We got a referral to CAHMS and they recommended testing.

Some GPs insist they won’t give you a referral until they see the child themselves.

Why tears of joy emoji? Is this a joke?

No because it’s annoying that he doesn’t stop, we try and make a light of everything because if I didn’t I would cry.

Sunflower field what a nasty unnecessary and unhelpful comment.

Some parents driven to the edge of madness by children with needs, find a good sense of humour helps them all survive

Ds has just been diagnosed with autism age 15. It's definitely worth pursuing an assessment. Good luck with it all.

Well, my dc do all the stuff she says he does, and I don't find them funny at all. And yes, I am driven to madness everyday.

The certificate thing - that is typical of a child of his age. The things that strike me as possible indicators of autism are
Hand flapping
Unable to sit still/constant fidgeting
Hates the shower

Google "triad of impairments". Its a crap name but it shows the 3 areas they look at when assessing symptoms.

Whatever happens, you will get through it.

Thank you,

It’s the emotional outbursts that’s driving us insane 😩

Op I would take him to the doctors. He doesn't sound like he has a global developmental delay if his expressive language is good and he's very good at maths. Usually this diagnosis means low in all (most areas) of development.

I am sorry, I think I overreacted because it was so emotional for me too.
Good luck, OP.

Look up masking. Common for autistic children to mask at school and let it all out at home. Sounds like it could be what you are experiencing.

Hi Op, I’m surprised the SENCO at your school hasn’t picked it up. It sounds like he needs a lot more help with social/emotional. I would def go to the SENCO if the school has one as they should have the best idea of the route to go along if you want to find out about an autism diagnosis. My son explodes when he is faced with a change he wasn’t prepared for or didn’t know about. Likes routine. Does your son get upset about stuff like this also? Also, was he an early reader? I don’t know much about global development delay but this sounds v different. A local lady near me, her son has GDD and in his last year of primary can barely write his own name, has one on one teaching support most of the day.

I’m following with interest, my ds is 10 and displays lots of traits at school but is fine at home. He doesn’t like change, different teacher throws him completely. Says whatever comes into his head without thinking. Can’t cope with distraction. Will work really well when out of class but is irritated by anything and everything in class. Struggles with friendships, always has. Removes himself from busy situations, always has. Stubborn and unforgiving. Was a very capable reader at age 4.
I’m wondering whether he fits this and whether I should approach the school for their opinion.

School won’t offer therapy. You need to arrange a meeting with your child’s teacher face to face. Write down all your concerns including his behaviour at home. Tell them you think he’s on the spectrum, that’s what I did and the teacher agreed which got the ball rolling.

The SENCO won’t be aware unless the school have flagged him up. They will have a list of children as long as your arm to see but I would ask your teacher to contact the SENCO and see if you can speak to them. It may not happen quickly. There may also be local drop in sessions for parents, ask them.

There are many hoops to jump through. You don’t have to take your child to the GP, I didn’t go start with. I got school to fill in a referral form and took it with me to the GP, who luckily was brilliant and very supportive and agreed to send it off. We then heard from a paediatrician and the school nursing team made contact to also provide some support in school. Assessment can take a while and it may not even get that far.

No one will fight for your child apart from you, someone told me that.

5yo DS has asd - he’s in mainstream and his main difficulties are around emotional regulation, executive function as well as sensory processing issues. He isn’t a good reader though, has no patience for things he finds difficult. He has exceptional vocabulary but the problem will always be getting that knowledge into paper, especially as he gets older.

He doesn’t like Change in routine, but major triggers for meltdown are changes in the expected order of events. He is very stubborn and rigid in thinking. We were referred when his nursery teacher suggested it (we had concerns at the time) and the early years practitioner did the referral for us. In your shoes, I’d be going to the gp - probably alone or with someone who can sit in the waiting room with him since it’s probably better discussing behaviours without him in earshot.