I’m broadly fine on the surface - but like my ability to sequence any kind of action is completely shot. I spent most of the weekend in bed - and today done a
lot of walking around in circles.
I don’t want to say the details of the relationship - but there are no logistics
to work out - so all the issue is in stopping the flat panic in my lizard brain. The amount of drama and failed salvage in the past - as well as peripheral issues - meant that this time I called total NC forever stop. Just endlessly looping the memory reels wondering how it ended so shit, sometimes thinking I overreacted, sometimes reminding myself to not waiver, worried about the other person.
I’m sure it will get easier - but any tips on not letting myself be consumed by this? I’ve taken on a ‘slow motion’ quality - and just really really struggling.