Counselling

[Last216]

Hi I'm looking for some advice about counselling.

I am in counselling now and have had about 8 sessions but I'm not sure what it's supposed to look like.

I am paying for it and it is not cheap but I have low self esteem and confident and struggle to make friendships so want to change that.

I find though in the sessions we just chat really sometimes about nothing. I was hoping she might use some strategies to help me with my confidence or there would be some exercises etc but it's like paying a lot of money to chat about nothing really.

Is this what counselling is supposed to look like? Or maybe this is the wrong type for me. She said she feels I need long term counselling but after 8 sessions I don't think anything has changed.

Her advice to make friends is to talk to people about themselves. I know that and I knew that before but it's trying to do it in the first place. Am I expecting too much?
What are other people's experiences of counselling?

Has your therapist discussed the actual goals of your therapy? Because 8 sessions seems a lot to have just chatted. What qualifications do they have?
I’m sure she does think you need long term therapy as that would be beneficial to her back pocket, but has she explained why long term is needed? What’s her rationale?
Also don’t be afraid to ditch and try someone else. She’s had 8 sessions and it’s not working for you.

It sounds like she's only using the person-centred approach, whereas you need something like CBT or one of the other models where they focus on changing behaviours.

If you like her as a therapist you could ask if she could change her approach (if she is qualified to), or you could look for another therapist.

Also I agree, 8 sessions is a lot to have not really made any progress. When I had counselling on the NHS it was 6 sessions.

Thanks for the replies.
She has a masters in psychotherapy and a diploma in counselling and seems pretty well qualified.

It does seem more person centred. She has told me that its psychotherapy I need over a longer period of time and regular sessions to work on my self esteem. We haven't reviewed the goals since the first session so perhaps need to do that.

I just want to keep my expectations in check but I don't want to feel I am wasting my money. I think I may try someone else, is there something I should be looking for that might work better?

You can phone up different counsellors (look on counselling directory) and see what approach they offer. Many have a free phone call where you can outline your problems and tell them what you feel you need and you can get an idea if it will be right for you.