My clutch broke today (on the motorway, with no hard shoulder, with my 4yo, which was bloody terrifying) - it will cost £400 I don't have to fix it. Can't get to work without a car.
I work in the automotive industry and will get a 20% discount on the repair; my dad has just come home drunk shouting that I need to insist my work fixes my clutch for free or I need to quit on the spot.
My dad moved in with me a year ago (all above board); he pays me a bit more than housing benefit did without him so I have to let him. He saves a load more money than I do, yet he thinks he's doing me a big favour.
But he comes home drunk 3 times a week and I have nowhere to hide from his drunken lectures as I have to share a room with DD whilst he's here and she won't sleep when I'm in there.
And he pisses all over the bathroom floor and drops food everywhere and just generally makes a shit ton of mess that I can't cope with. I am one step away from pitching a tent in the park across the road!
I can't afford to survive without him and he does help me out with childcare every now and then and adores my DD and I do love him loads and feel guilty that I'm slagging him off now, albeit anonymously, but I'm so angry at him all the time and I fear this situation is going to ruin our relationship.
I make my (tiny) company at least 10 times my salary in profit - first by selling, now indirectly in a research role. But I'm still on a really shitty wage. And my boss said even if I had a PHD (which in my role is a professional doctorate, not academic - it'd make him £££ and lots of kudos to have an employee with one), I'd have to make a bloody good case to get a pay rise above a tenner an hour. I can't seem to land a better paid job. I've tried. I don't know why.
I have ADHD, which I got diagnosed privately for a year ago because the NHS referral takes 2 years plus, and the GP have just stopped my medication because I didn't have the money for an annual review (£300+). I was hoping to scrape this together in the next month or two, but now my clutch has gone. I don't actually know how I will stay in uni without my meds.
I'm doing a masters, full time and distance learning. Which I love, and bar DD, is the only good thing in my life. But I have nowhere quiet to study in my house, and I'm finding it nearly impossible to study without my tablets. I'll probably have to drop out. For the sake of £300.
My little DD is the best kid and I worship the ground that she walks on. But she is full on. She's probably got ADHD too, I think, but little girls with ADHD often do manage to follow rules and their hyperactivity manifests as non-stop talking and increased emotional sensitivity instead of being boisterous. I don't ever get a break. The 5 hours I'm not at work and she's at school, I have to study. When she finally goes to sleep, I have to study. Or try to study, whilst my dad blares fucking Eastenders.
Life is just too hard. I was pregnant, had no qualifications and was in an very bad abusive relationship 5 years ago. I wanted to make a better life for my daughter; I left him (he's in prison now), was homeless, managed to find a landlord to rent a house from, went to uni with a newborn, worked and studied my arse off to get my first degree, and got a job which is vaguely professional (though woefully underpaid) instead of the childcare/ HCA roles I was in before to try and progress my career.
I am working even harder to get this degree which will hopefully mean I'll finally progress up the ladder. But it seems like I'm working and working and its all for nothing. I can't seem to catch a break or a bit of respite for 5 minutes without another catastrophe. How can life be this hard with so little reward?
Sorry to be all woe is me, and I know nobody can really help. I don't know why I'm posting. Just feel so disheartened.