My childs behaviour

[Kolbenalb]

So for the the last 2 years My childs behaviour has been getting worse and worse, it all started when he was 3. It was just the occasional melt down but now it's full on sceaming at me and my partner, he doesn't just scream and shout and blah blah blah, it's alot worse he's bites, throws toys, hits us, hits his little brothers, calls us liars when we try to help us, due to his behaviour and the amount of noise he has been creating the has been complaints coming from a neighbor (not sure which 1).

I have tried to sit him down and talk to him but there is no getting through to him, there has been a few cases where IV gone to far and has to full on shout at him just to get him to stop ( I know I shouldn't) but still no hope. I'm very consistent with sending to his bed to cool off but this has never worked, he comes down even worse than before and I repeat it again and again and still no hope, I broke down the other day because I got so angry at him when I was trying to speak to him about his behaviour. IV even tried showing him how he behaves by recording him and he seem to not care.

Me and my partner have sat down together and talked about different things we could do but till this point nothing helps. It's causing a huge strain on our family Nd we have 2 other kids we need to look out for as well any help would be appreciated as I can't lose this woman after what we have been through together.

How is he at school op? If he can 'behave' at school it suggests he can behave when he's at home, he's just choosing not to.

Could the school help with some suggestions for behaviour management strategies that they use, that you could employ at home so he is a experiencing consistency?

Failing that could your local sure start help with some advice? Round here our sure start has outreach workers who can support families struggling with these sorts of issues.

Other than sending him to his room what other consequences have your tried?

Does there seem to be a common or reoccurring antecedent / trigger to his behaviour? For example, does he react this way when asked to stop doing something he enjoys, or before mealtimes etc.

Home start helped us out with something before but I didn't find them very useful at all, I have thought about what the school could do to help.

I have stopped him watching his favourite shows and I have taken a few of his favourite toys ( once I took all his toys while he was in school ). I could ask him the simplest thing like put clothes in the basket or put his shoes on and he just melts down on us. His teachers have told me he is brilliant in class and listens to every instruction.

He gets all the attention he needs so none of this makes sense.

If his behaviour at school is good it could be that he's working really hard all day to hold it together at school and you get a tired stressed out child with low tolerance levels at the end of the day.

Is he getting enough sleep? Dows he wind down properly before bed ie no screens etc?

Do you give him a snack as soon as he gets in from school?

Do you notice any change in his behaviour at weekends or school holidays when he's potentially less tired?

Do you operate a consistent system of sanctions and rewards? Does he know the rules, and know the consequences? Sounds from what you've said above as if this may seem a bit random to him.

I'd be booking an appointment at school to ask for their advice.

On a very good day his routine is watch TV for half hour, eat food and maybe watch a film if he asks. He sleeps right the way through with no problems always has, before bed he reads a book which he does himself with out even being told it's a favourite thing he does which I will never stop.

IV never seen a child with so much energy like he has, school seems to not tire him out what so ever and weekends we try and get out for nice long walks but even then he is still full of energy. School holidays are even worse there is no control over him he's like a wild animal.

He knows all the rules and consequences for his actions, he knows how to play the system as well we give him something nice for being good and he then goes back to being wild.

I would suggest googling signs of ADHD and ASD. Read through them and see how much of it fits as your DS sounds very like one of mine was at that age, he was later diagnosed with ASD and potentially has ADHD but its not possibly to conclusively test him for it. I'm not saying your DS has either of these, I'm not a doctor, but given that he has consistent boundaries and consequences but is still acting out then it's worth exploring.

What is he interested in, does he have any one-to-one time? His behaviour does sound extreme but did it get worse after the arrival of his siblings?