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Is my DH having an affair?

10 replies

Bedsidedrawer · 10/11/2019 08:18

Last night I was quickly using my DH phone for something and I ended up reading a stream of texts between him and work colleague.
They have to text professionally and there was nothing obvious to suggest an affair. However I was shocked at the tone of their exchanges. It just seemed slightly flirty, warm and well I didn't recognise the man I know. His texts to me are not like this.
As background we have been very happily married with two gorgeous kids. He is very committed to family life and me. Nothing like that to suggest affair e.g he hasn't changed character at home, hasn't started checking out etc
I have been a bit dissatisfied recently. He's very committed but doesn't express his love to me very openly. Though he does do anything to help and support me. He's been a bit more grumpy but he is tired etc
Not sure what to do.
I met this woman recently and I was taken aback by her reaction to me. She seemed uneasy with me. Couldn't put my finger on it at the time.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 10/11/2019 08:21

Ask him?

He probably isn’t having an affair. But, they made have a ‘dynamic’ that they enjoy and that is based on being a bit flirty.

You need to know why he isn’t being warm to you.

Bedsidedrawer · 10/11/2019 08:23

I don't enjoy flirty dynamics with any other men.

OP posts:
sarahjconnor · 10/11/2019 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Bedsidedrawer · 10/11/2019 08:28

I did. He said that she'd said to him 'you didn't tell me your wife was a stunner'
I don't think I am!
It just feels odd Sad

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 10/11/2019 09:06

Why do you not want to ask him?

You might not have any flirty relationships, but the world turns on them and usually they are nothing more than passing the time. However, if your instincts are up, you need to check with him.

Bedsidedrawer · 10/11/2019 09:10

Really?
It's okay to have flirty relationships outside of your marriage?
It's not what I signed up to

OP posts:
FantailsFly · 10/11/2019 09:25

It’s really up to you and your DH to decide what you are ok with. I wouldn’t mind my DP having slightly flirty conversations. It’s only conversation - you say there are no signs it’s more than that. I’m with persona - the world turns on them.

KurriKawari · 10/11/2019 10:19

Ask him why they're texting so much and give examples from the texts that you aren't comfortable with.

Fairylea · 10/11/2019 10:21

I would not be comfortable with flirty texts to another woman. I think you have to trust your spidery senses.

Sahej · 11/11/2019 23:39

@KurriKawari you definitely are kawari to think that would work.

Best thing to do is to have a conversation about your relationship and say you saw the texts and your jealous of the way they've been talking but obviously it's not going to stop

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