Why did putting your mouth on someone's skin and making a sucky noise come to symbolise love/affection?

[BadnessInTheFolds]

Just rolled over in bed half asleep and DP's hand was on my pillow so I kissed it.

Maybe because I'm half asleep (and he's actually asleep) it occurred to me that it's such a weird thing to do.

Why has it come to be a sign of bonding/affection? Is it universal and if so did it evolve in lots of places separately or was it in one culture and spread?

I know in Vietnam, people sniff the palm of someone's hand very sharply as a 'kiss' (I've seen adults do it with babies, not sure if it is in other contexts as well) and I've heard of 'Eskimo kisses' with rubbing noses but I don't know if that's just a myth.

Are there any other forms of 'kissing' in other cultures?

And why is it something we only do with closer friends and family?
Is it about sharing germs/biosphere with your immediate social group?

I have heard full on snogging type kisses are meant to be a transfer of saliva that helps you learn about a potential mate's generic suitability and general health (don't know if it's true)

Any kissing anthropologists on MN who can enlighten me??

I've no idea OP but I've wondered this myself! Good question!

I think personally it is just evolved human primate grooming. When we had fur, the kiss would be to nibble up a louse. We’ve evolved to not have fur, but the primate grooming as an expression of affection continues on.

I vaguely remember hearing something about feeding chewed food to babies mouth to mouth being something to do with it.
And exposing a bfing mother the baby's germs to get making the right antibodies for the baby to get via milk.
I am clearly not the anthropologist you're after though!

I always thought it was a really gross thing to do, and could never get my head around it when I was a teenager lol.

it's also a symbol of absolute trust - putting you mouth/face in a very vulnerable position.

Good thread Badness I've often wondered why we use our mouth.

There is some magic in skin contact. I am not a woo person but I really believe we relate to it on a deeper level.
Think of breastfeeding, the baby can communicate with the mothers milk to make sure it is getting the right milk for its needs and age...all through saliva!

I have no idea but it is a bit weird now that you think about it.

I know my dm married 2 men with the same allergy which she didn’t know about till after she’d married them. They had also had the same relatively unusual disease in childhood. I don’t know how to work out the likelihood it’s a coincidence but that seems to me like she sussed out their genetic suitability. Which also seems like something she would do, the old romantic.

I've studied anthropology (not a pro anthropologist though). Never specifically looked at this but wondered. My guess would be development from grooming behaviour, the trust thing, but also that because we are simply very tactile animals in general, hugging and shaking hands etc, we have to ramp it up to a whole new level for special partners and children.

I once read that some cultures flutter their eyelashes together instead.
I have no idea where I read it or when. Or how true it is.
That would make an awkward introduction though

My male best friend and I rub noses as a sign of affection, have done so for 22 years! We both grew up in northern Finland, and he's of Saami descent (Lapland), but even he can't say definitively if it's a cultural thing... his family have always done it.

Really interesting, thank you all for your ideas!

I think there's something in being vulnerable and in assessing someone's 'health'/wellbeing

It would make sense that it might originate with parents carrying for babies as well

• caring for

I like the idea of grooming behaviour too.

I'm a very tactile person and definitely feel the release of serotonin when I get a hug which I think is related to breastfeeding and bonding

In Anthony Burgess’s Malaysian trilogy he writes that people in Malaysia (still? Used to?) kiss by running the tip of their nose along their partner’s cheek. I tried it on DH, it’s nice!
I guess lots of nerve endings in the face and all about trust.

I'd thought the Eskimo kiss came from avoiding moisture.

Re grooming behaviour, in Mongolia if you have an eyelash in your eye you can ask a person you're with to use their tongue to retrieve it. Oddest thing I've ever seen.

"I once read that some cultures flutter their eyelashes together instead.
I have no idea where I read it or when. Or how true it is"

My DH would like that, he is always trying to flutter his eyelashes on my cheek/neck etc, he calls it "butterfly kisses". He's very weird though, to be fair

I always understood it was evolutionary, from weaning, where the mum chews the food for the baby then passes it from her mouth to the baby's.

The great apes do this.

Shudder, thank goodness for Cow and Gate!

www.bbc.co.uk/earth/story/20150714-why-do-we-kiss

One night stand will now forever be known as the Bonobo Handshake

It’s not until you tho k something through that you realise how weird it is.

Think of full blown snogs with tongues and lasting more than a few minutes. If you overthink that- how flipping weird is it!

Well your thread title sounds like a description of breastfeeding. So that?

I don’t know about anyone else but the urge to kiss my babies little lips was overwhelming. I was with a lady from another country recently and she was rubbing her nose on her newborn while cooing as a sign of affection but I can’t for the life of me remember where she was from.

@HelloCanYouHearMe that's just what I was looking for!

@UterusUterusGhali (amazing user name!) interesting that it felt so primal and overwhelming

@Time4Change0 I think it's true of much of life tbh...