How do you deal with tantrums?

[spice3]

I'm at a loss.

DS is 2.5. He's getting into a phase where he will scream when he doesn't get what he wants. Not crying/screaming, literally just screaming and getting hysterical.

I want to say ignoring him and not giving him the attention he's looking for is best but I keep being called too soft and I don't want him to be known as a terror child

No idea how to handle it. I've shouted on a few occasions but it just makes him worse.

Oh god they're grim. I remember this so well.

a) prevention- nap time was sancrosanct in this house and I tried to avoid busy shops etc unless they were in a good mood. My mum saw this as pandering

b) offer appropriate choices as much as possible

c) remain calm and ride it out. One liked a cuddle, the other had to be left alone.

It's horrific. Sympathies OP!

Read ‘The happiest toddler on the block’ by Harvey Karp. Really good strategies that can be adapted well into later childhood.

Oh it is a really shit phase they go through but keep telling yourself it is a phase but it is important how you handle it as it may well have consequences for subsequent behaviour. eg if they learn that you will give in at some point they know they have to keep doing what they are doing to get their own way.

In my case I just made sure they were in a safe place and let them get on with it. If it was because they wanted something and I wouldn't let them I never gave in, ever, no matter how easy it would have been. All they would have learned is there is a chink in your armour. Stick with the ignoring and they learn no means no.

Other times they may tantrum because they are tired but can't explain how they feel. It is up to you as the one that knows them best to deal with that. As I said though, it isn't easy!

Dont worry, it won't be long before the next phase comes along!!

Ignore. Leave room.

We're just getting a grip on this ourselves (DS is almost 3).
As already suggested I try to be very aware of tiredness or hunger as they are his main triggers for not being able to regulate his emotions.
If we do end up with a tantrum I just try to stay as calm as possible, give him some space and let him know I'm here for when he wants a cuddle. It doesn't always work but me staying calm is the only way to deal with it.
I feel for you, it's a horrible thing for everyone involved!