Food banks have been around for decades I remember helping at my church as a child giving out butter and tins of stewed steak in the 1970’s. I have been involved with various foodbanks, food projects and studies on poverty levels and access to education for many years. All the people that come have a story that’s sad but I am going to write about the thankfully rarer but extremely difficult families as that was what I experienced as a child and have spent a lifetime trying to help, including at times my own destructive family. So this isn’t about the majority of people who need help because of a job loss, illness, single parenthood it’s about the sort of families that I assume anniemac1 finds frustrating though her post was deleted before I could read it. These are the hardest families to help.
I grew up in poverty due to alcoholism and a very violent stepfather and Mother, and they often let us go hungry. We were subject to sustained beatings and my stepfather tried to strangle me. He sexually abused his own biological child as well, my younger sister They had extremely well paid jobs but it all went on alcohol and things for themselves. I went to church at 12 of my own free will. I found people that treated me well.
How do we help children with parents like mine and they do sadly exist. Just one inspiring role model can change a child’s life. As well as the people at church who treated me with kindness I had a couple of amazing very inspiring teachers. Being in a family that’s very difficult if it’s all you know and don’t experience anything else, the hopelessness is contagious. But also moving away from that life my goodness I have been rounded on by some of my siblings. You become othered and your not part of the tribe anymore. I was called scum because I decided to go to my Mothers funeral as some boycotted it which was their right. I went because I wanted to say goodbye and tell her how awful she was and to say here I am despite what you did to me.
These are the very hard families to work with where addiction and destructive MH issues are at the forefront of their lives. I’m not talking about depression and PND here. My Mother put her children at risk many times. It’s hard to escape and so the cycle continues. Three of my siblings have taken part in criminal activity, two of my sisters have been in relationships with hardened criminals, two are alcoholics. I do understand why they are the way they are. It’s very hard for regular folk to understand the levels of cruelty some children have to endure.
I had a massive argument on here a few years ago about a documentary on childhood poverty, at that time some posters didn’t believe a child would be given just a sausage roll as their only food all day. That was my life, I’m glad to see that people are far more willing to believe this now. It was always there just more hidden. I have come in to contact with social workers, psychologists and advice services due to my work. I’m careful sharing what my past was like with anyone at all but to the very few who know something of it the people that work with these families they say it’s amazing you are not like that, I say the luck of having those role models.
Again please note I’m writing about abusive parenting not people who are just simply poor. So please do give to foodbanks it’s great but if anyone has the skills to volunteer doing something and to be that role model please consider it. I find MN quite teacher and church bashing sometimes but those people gave me a life.