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What's the kindest thing you've ever experienced?

228 replies

flopsytheflatcat · 07/11/2019 20:30

an act of kindness to you or one you've witnessed or heard about?

OP posts:
wombinside · 09/11/2019 07:55

@userxx Thank you. It took about a year before things got easier but the man from the chip shop fed me throughout that whole time with whatever amount of small change I had whenever I went in which at that time was about once a week.

He was an absolute star and I made sure to go back and tell him what a difference he made to a very poor and vulnerable 16 year old girl.

BikeRunSki · 09/11/2019 08:02

The lady who found my phone and car keys when I dropped them in Leeds. I had them back within an hour. I tried to give her £50. She refused. I donated it to Breast Cancer Haven who has looked after my friend,who has died a few weeks earlier.

Inthesickofit · 09/11/2019 09:38

DH was rear-ended whilst waiting at a roundabout, with DS (6months) in the back. A woman saw what had happened, went back round the roundabout and stopped. She had the right size car seat (her children were at nursery/school that day) and said she'd been in a crash with three kids herself once, so she knew the stress. She drove DH and DS to hospital to be checked out - it would have taken an hour to walk, or an ambulance if she hadn't stopped.

64sNewName · 09/11/2019 09:54

I keep having to stop reading this thread because it’s making me cry too much

NoCauseRebel · 09/11/2019 09:58

So many, and given I’ve spent months in hospital of late many of them relate to that.

The nurse who was in the recovery suite where I was meant to go after my surgery which didn’t happen but where I went anyway and then crashed and had to be carted off to ICU. He stayed way after his shift had ended until I was taken down, and came down the next day to see how I was.

The nurse in ICU who was with me that first night, who came down with me for a procedure they couldn’t do, who swabbed out my mouth with water because I was nil by mouth and had already been for 24 hours but wasn’t allowed anything yet in case I had to have an anaesthetic. And who had to kindly tell me I couldn’t have sedation because my blood pressure was so low that they had to know if I stopped talking meant me falling unconscious iyswim. Who very gently suggested that their aim is always to get people better when I asked if I was going to die. There was a high chance I did.

All of the other nurses on that ward over the ten days I spent in there.

The consultant from the first day (although there were many others as well) who was lovely and spoke to me and was reassuring. Apparently he’s been on 24 hours in A&E before. Pgrin]

The Chaplin who came to see me, and engaged with me in a conversation about music, and then sang me a song. At this point I should have to all accounts been unconscious but wasn’t.

The nurse who put her phone on with music so I could listen to some while I was still awake one night.

The lovely staff on the coronary ward where I was moved, who talked and chatted and who got to know me.

The DR who, saved my life when i went into cardiac arrest some days after moving out of ICU. He had to start compressions while I was still conscious in an attempt to stop my heart from arresting as the rate had dropped so low. I cried and begged him to stop (deeply traumatic experience) but he ignored me and carried on and although my heart did stop his actions meant that because the blood flow never stopped there was never any risk of e.g. brain damage, or very minimal anyway. I thanked him when he came to see me a few days later and he said “it’s my job.” Smile

The DR’s who did my procedures which eventually got me out of there.

My consultant who has pushed and asserted and got things done to the point that I am now well enough to live my life again but also well enough to be considered for a transplant which I was previously ineligible for and which is my only long term hope. He’s one of those who is very blunt and very assertive. But it gets things done. He doesn’t just waffle about doing things, he goes off and does them himself if he has to e.g. booking appointments and so on.

Oh and last, the nurse who used to work nights when I was in the same hospital a few years previously who ended up doing a couple of nights this time as well. I recognised him but didn't say anything, but he saw me and came over to say. hello.

There are others from the outside world but I know I've already written an essay.

Pegase · 09/11/2019 10:28

I had a very traumatic birth experience with DD after which we couldn't master breast feeding. I basically thought I had therefore failed as a parent before even beginning and wanted to express but didn't know how. My friend drove down from the other side of London that day with a bag full of expressing equipment, storage bottles and extensive handwritten instructions on how to pump milk and store it safely. She truly saved my sanity when I was in a dark place.

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 09/11/2019 10:39

My most recent was in a chip shop. A young woman came in a terrible state. I'd never seen anything like it. Ragged clothes, bare legs and flip flops in the last week of December. An absolute lost soul, totally out of it. I was honestly shocked and I live in London and see a lot of sad sights. She went to the front of the queue and asked the chip shop worker what she could get for £1.70 and he was telling her just a small portion of chips when a middle aged man stepped forward and said quietly to him "just give her whatever she wants". She asked for two sausages and chips and then walked out into the dark with them. I smiled at him and he looked at me and did sort of "well what can you do" shrug. My dd was with me and I was glad that she saw that.

Closer to home, my ex SIL is the kindest most supportive person I know. She does loads for us even though I am not with her shit head brother anymore including coming on boring holidays with small kids because I was nervous about going alone and even insisted on paying for one of them to go as I wouldn't have been able to afford it alone. I never asked, she insisted. She's lovely.

sardinesandmangochutney · 09/11/2019 10:53

Aged 17, I was trying to catch a train home (about 6 hours away) after a uni interview which I was convinced had gone badly. As I ran onto the platform the train pulled away and I just burst into tears, I'd never cried in public and I was so embarrassed. A lovely lady gave me a tissue and helped me to work out how I could get connecting trains to get home. A small thing but it made a massive difference to that week.

Maybiteifstartled · 09/11/2019 11:58

I am in big puddles reading through this - if only THIS is what was on our daily news, not the endless misery that mainstream media churns out.

WHEN I win the Lottery . . . I need very little for myself. Apart from the obvious charitable and philanthropic stuff (I have it all planned Smile ) I would love to put £50/£100 in envelopes with a little note that says something nice, explains where the money came from, and that the recipient is under no obligation to me.

Done anonymously, wouldn't it be neat to just hand someone an envelope and walk away? FlowersFlowers

doublebarrellednurse · 09/11/2019 12:00

When I was about to become homeless a group I was part of on the Internet crowd sourced a deposit for a flat for me. I had only met 2 of them in RL and only they knew my circumstances. I was incredibly humbled by it. I've made regular donations to a homeless charity for those who didn't have that amazing support that I did.

peridito · 09/11/2019 12:11

One of the things about this thread is that it encourages me to step forward and offer a hand when sometimes I would hesitate .

Not so long ago as I got off a bus I slipped 5 pound coins into a youngish ( about 12 ) boys pocket .He had a trolley with shopping and was dressed in v washed out ,not v well fitting clothes .I judged him to be not v well off and carrying out some household task on his own .My friend was horrified and said I was v patronising and shouldn't have done this - that I would have made the boy feel dreadful and might have been the cause of questions when he got home .

I was chastened by her remarks but reading this thread now I'm not so sure .

SunsetBoulevard3 · 09/11/2019 12:18

That was a lovely thing to do Perdito.

peridito · 09/11/2019 12:22

Oh Sunset thank you for saying that .I am guilty of being patronising I think ,but I don't mean to be IYSWIM !

ICouldBeVotingTactically · 09/11/2019 12:43

So many humbling, life-changing examples on here. But let's not overlook the trivial too.

I've not had a good week at work, and decisions made by others, that impact on me, have made me feel really un-valued. Today, I was at the hairdressers. They always offer a (free) mug of tea or coffee. I nearly said no thanks but decided to go for it. They brought a lovely big cup and saucer with milk on the side, and even a biscuit, all on a tray just for me. For some ridiculous reason, I could feel tears welling up, and all because this tiny act t made me feel valued.

(Pathetic of me, I know!)

peridito · 09/11/2019 13:04

That's a v normal response i think ,not pathetic at all ! I think we stay strong in the face of something and then ,when our defences are down ,some little thing undoes us .

Sorry to hear about work ,I wonder if they realise the impact of their decisions ? Probably not but they are the ones who are being pathetic by taking such a small view ,not you !
Flowers

Iwantmychairback · 09/11/2019 13:13

The first day of a motorbike tour round France. It was raining quite heavily. I was on the back of the bike with my bf riding it. There was an English car just in front of us, going really slowly ( lost perhaps?). My bf pulled out to overtake them and crossed over the white line in the centre of the road. Unknown to us, the white lines are raised slightly and really slippy when wet) He lost control of the bike and we came off and slid down the road. The English car just drove off. A French couple coming towards us stopped to help us. They spoke no English and I spoke schoolgirl French. The wife gave me coffee and asked if we need to go to hospital. The husband helped my bf pick up the bike and assess it for damage. They then rang their son who had a friend who’s mother ran a bed and breakfast nearby. They took us there and the son arranged for the bike to be repaired the next day so that we could continue with our holiday. Over 30 years ago and I have never forgotten the kindness on that day. BF is now my husband and still biking!

RandomKindness · 09/11/2019 13:32

This is a heart warming thread, but also sad for the sad situations that people have been in prior to the acts of kindess Thanks

I know mine sounds like the plot of a novel. When I was much younger I was trying to get out of a relationship with an abusive and very violent man. One day I was in a pub with my friend who was talking to some random bloke and I ended up in a conversation with this man's friend. I ended up confiding in him about my partner as I was a bit drunk and he was kind and easy to talk to. Long story short, this random man approached my partner at a later date and put the fear of God into him (I never asked exactly what he said or maybe did) enough that he finally let me leave.

I married Random Kind Man Smile He is still lovely.

Fridaynightfuntime · 09/11/2019 14:11

@NoCauseRebel I truly hope you are well soup. It sounds like you’ve been through far too much for any one person to deal with. Chest compressions whole conscious sounds absolutely horrific.

Ratbagcatbag · 09/11/2019 14:13

So so many for me and I now try and pay it forwards whenever I can.

I was in hospital aged 9 waiting to go down to theatre to have my tonsils out. I was scheduled at 9:30am which made it tight for my mum having to drop my brother at school and get the bus to the hospital (because my 7 year old brother was the golden child and he'd have been upset to any change of routine 🙄). As it got closer and closer I curled up on my bed crying, but trying not to.
The mum with her son on the next bed, climbed onto my bed with me, wrapped me in a huge cuddle and started reading me one of her sons books. I held her hand and she promised if my mum hadn't turned up she would go down to theatre with me so I wasn't alone.
Mum did make it, she never even thanked the kind lady. Just told me I was being dramatic for no reason.

My lovely school teacher when I was around 10 who lied in my school report, I was being a sod at school and I knew it. My dad would have beaten me black and blue for it. My teacher lied and he told me that he knew what would happen to me if he hadn't. He also said to me to always do my best and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. So long as I've tried then I'm true to me.
He taught me people could be kind when I'd not experienced it very much. I tried to contact him some years ago and found he'd died. I did speak to his son though and told him what an impact he'd had on me.

And to all the others who knew my home life was awful and did what they could. Keeping me for weekends and showing me a different lifestyle to the one I'd been dragged up in. I'm who I am today because of those people.

WineOrGinOrBoth · 09/11/2019 14:56

Oh my some of these are so moving. Flowers to all of you

RandomKindness · 09/11/2019 15:04

It's also made me think about (and I am explaining this really badly, sorry) the fact that so many people have experienced acts of kindness, but the underlying situations remained the same - so the kindness perhaps was even more of a help to get through it. So when the situation was still terrible, they could remember the kindness in the middle of it and it meant even more?

I know what I'm trying to say but can't seem to explain it! For example, I know my act of kindness sounds like a "reader I married him" sudden happy ending, but of course it wasn't like that - it took me a long time to get over what had happened and caused difficulties for both of us, but I knew I could always trust DH as I knew he was a kind person who would always have my back. The horrible situation didn't go away immediately but it was made more bearable by the kindness.

If that makes sense!

OMGshefoundmeout · 09/11/2019 15:10

When DC were little we wrote off our only car in a motorway pile up and it took about 6 weeks for the insurance claim to come through and buy a new one. Our church community were amazing. People stepped up and ferried DC to and from school. Different friends took it in turns to drive me around to look at new cars. One man offered us the use of a car she wasn’t driving at the time. Someone I barely knew offered to lend us money interest free to speed up the purchase. Apart from the school run and lifts none of this was necessary but I’ve never forgotten how kind and generous people were. I was humbled.

OMGshefoundmeout · 09/11/2019 15:15

Recently I had some very sad news whilst on a long train journey. I managed to hold it together until DH rang for a chat. I told him the news and after he hung up I started to cry. Once I started I couldn’t stop. A lady across the aisle came and sat next to me. She gave me some tissues and sat with her arm around me while I sobbed and sobbed. Then she hugged me and moved back to her seat.

I’m normally very reserved and introverted but human contact was what I needed then. I’ll always remember her kindness.

gospa · 09/11/2019 15:20

I just read about this by chance yesterday and was moved to tears by the kindness and compassion of an American high school football coach who disarmed a student with a gun - and then hugged him. The student had mental health issues and was intending to take his own life - the coach saved him.
www.cnn.com/2019/10/19/us/portland-coach-hugging-armed-student/index.html

partysong · 09/11/2019 17:36

Oh @Ratbagcatbag - I'm so sorry for all you've been through. Sounds like the people who helped you become who you are did a great job - I'm so glad there was some kindness in your life.

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