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Original poster

How do I hide the fact that I'm pregnant at a family do?

61 replies

Helpdontknowwhattodo · 06/11/2019 20:09

I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant. We've had problems TTC and I've had 2 miscarriages in the space of a year (both around 6-8 weeks)

It's my father's birthday this weekend and my partner and I are driving up to see them all. Nearly all the family will be there and we're staying overnight on the Saturday.

Problem is, I usually drink like a fishBlush, and I know there will be lots of drinking. My mum is very 'clued up' and will immediately suspect something if I don't have a drink. I'm also suffering from morning sickness which is a dead giveaway.

I don't really want to tell people I'm pregnant at this stage just incase it doesn't work out. Anyone got any suggestions for what I could say to avoid drinking?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 06/11/2019 20:39

Talk AT them about the diet (as weird and ridiculous one as you can find) until their eyes glaze over and they inch away.

And about how WELL you feel and how GREAT it is and preferably there's something you want to sell them. No one will want to talk to you at all guess.

TeachesOfPeaches · 06/11/2019 20:41

What's wrong with simply saying that you're pregnant?

Imicola · 06/11/2019 20:42

Cystitis/UTI. I never drank for about 2 weeks after when I used to have them.

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Mamaschocolatebuttons · 06/11/2019 20:49

The thing about a diet you rave about is that in a few weeks they'll all know you were lying which is why I always found it awkward to say something that requires too much detail. A hangover is a good one, if anyone asks about it just wave a hand and say you can't even think about last night, too much booze on an empty stomach and give a gaggy face. Or say you've had a dodgy curry/ kebab/ something that repeats on you like mad if you've had one that upsets you. If you say a sickness bug you'll have to watch for who's there, I wouldn't want anyone recovering from a bug around my young children, very elderly relative, if I were pregnant myself etc.
Quite honestly, if you're worried about the pregnancy anyway and are experiencing morning sickness I'd not attend and say sickness bug, celebrate with your dad later at a lunch or something?

ivykaty44 · 06/11/2019 20:50

TofP because op doesn’t want to yet

Raphael34 · 06/11/2019 20:55

Would telling your mum really be such a bad thing? If it does end badly then at least you can go to her for support.
The antibiotic excuse is obvious. Better to just pretend youre drinking. Pour your own drinks, pretend to sip/pour out/swap any alcoholic drinks you’re given. Your mum can help cover you

20viona · 06/11/2019 20:56

Make your own 'gin' and tonics. Accept drinks and get you OH to drink them lift them up to your lips occasionally. do NOT say antibiotics

mendokusai · 06/11/2019 20:56

just stand there whingeing about your headache and how you had a co-codamol tablet so you cant drink but it was useless and might have to go soon if your head doesnt get any better

katand2kits · 06/11/2019 21:02

Definitely fake drink. The antibiotics line will not fool anyone. Drink nice mocktails that look like the real thing. Make sure you always have a drink to hand, so nobody can see you are without a drink and offer to buy you one. If someone is going to the bar for you say "oh I've had three of these,. I am feeling a bit squiffy, I think I will just have a coke this round"

Jayaywhynot · 06/11/2019 21:03

Hubby buys a coke plus a vodka and coke, you drink the coke and pretend its vodka and coke, when everyone has had a few no one will notice

KenAdams · 06/11/2019 21:05

Set the scene early. Mention in the group chat that you and DH are going for a prawn curry or something a couple of days before. Then something like the curry was a bit shit and the place was a dive. Turn up and tell them your stomach doesn't feel right (both of you do this). Spend a lot of time being sick. Start "feeling better" a couple of days later.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 06/11/2019 21:05

Make a very obnoxious show of ‘being in a diet’ and lecture everyone on how unhealthy they are for drinking and eating. They’ll be too busy hating you to think of pregnancy.

Paraballa · 06/11/2019 21:06

Just say that due to your losses you want to be as healthy as possible in order to conceive again so you're not drinking. Nearly true and you can't get caught out. It will be even more convincing if DH is also not drinking (for healthy sperm). Wink

taybert · 06/11/2019 21:06

Metronidazole is also used for bacterial vaginosis. That diagnosis should stop any further questions.

Ekundayo · 06/11/2019 21:07

I got through a major family event when I didn’t want to tell anyone I was pregnant because I was having tests for complications by just wandering about with or sitting next to glasses of wine I didn’t drink. I took them with me to talk to other people and poured them into plant pots or just abandoned them or swapped with DH.

Much more inconspicuous than fake antibiotics, which is like wearing a BUN IN THE OVEN T-shirt.

Sarahlou252 · 06/11/2019 21:10

Bless you, congratulations on your pregnancy. I had Christmas party season when I was in early pregnancy and I had a previous MC too so it was too early to share our news. What we did was I went to the bar and ordered a double Bacardi & coke (or similar) and my DH was the one who feined a hangover and ordered a coke. Then we discreetly swapped drinks . Nobody suspected a thing. The less you say, the less people will cotton on that it's out of character for you. I agree with others, the antibiotic line is an absolute giveaway! Good luck.

Spaghettio · 06/11/2019 21:13

I did the hungover thing. Basically made out like I'd had a really big night the night before and asked for lemonade the whole evening. It totally throws off all suspicion. And if you're known to like a tipple, it makes sense. 🍷🍷🍷

Pugsleyaddams · 06/11/2019 21:14

Banging headache you've taken tablets for works, especially if your family have a good party and like to go on late, allows you to slip away to bed as you say you're staying if it goes on too late and you're knackered.

Lineintime · 06/11/2019 21:18

Op, how about using the excuse of getting over a bad bout of food poisoning?

Impatientwino · 06/11/2019 21:19

I'm a complete lush and I avidly agree that if you walk around with a glass of wine that folk generally won't notice depending on where you are. I've hidden three pregnancies successfully. It works best at houses though. Go to the kitchen to fetch the wine and top everyone up including yourself. I took the odd small sip but that's up to you. I went to the toilet and took my glass and poured it down the sink then asked someone loudly for a top up when they had a bottle in their hand. Made DH down half my glass when no-one was looking etc.

In restaurants this obviously won't work but you can try ordering tonic and asking for it in a gin glass. I got away with this at a busy noisy place.

In my own home at a party I had a bottle of non alcoholic fizz in my fridge and walked around with a glass. If someone offered me a top up of regular fizz then I accepted it and then took a small sip in view then dumped the glass and refilled a new one with the AFree one and so on etc etc...

Congratulations to you, try not to worry. What happens happens Smile

JustaScratch · 06/11/2019 21:19

My trick was to have one glass of red wine and just play with it pretending to drink it all evening. If anyone says 'you're not drinking much' you can always claim to have a stomach ache or something so you've decided to take it a bit slow, but it doesn't obviously look like you're not drinking. I didn't actually drink it - maybe a couple of tiny sips, but nothing really, and no or even noticed.

CalleighDoodle · 06/11/2019 21:24

If they know youre ttc and about the past miscarriages id say youve cut out alcohol while youre trying to conceive.

Mulhollandmagoo · 06/11/2019 21:27

Tell them you're poorly! I used the antibiotic thing so many times whilst in the early stages of pregnancy it worked a treat. A kidney infection/water infection was my go to, also worked as a perfect excuse to go to bed early too, as you feel unwell 😂

If you're worries about morning sickness, could you book into a hotel nearby? Make up some breezy excuse as to why?

Congratulations Flowers

Ekundayo · 06/11/2019 21:32

If you say ‘I’m on antibiotics’ you might as well hold up a sign saying PREGGERS.

Spinzy · 06/11/2019 21:32

Can you just drink shloer or something? I was in the early stages of pregnancy on my wedding day and didn’t want anybody to know. I thought I was having a miscarriage and didn’t want my parents to start fretting like I knew they would. I asked the staff to bring me shloer with a napkin around it so it wouldn’t be obvious I was having a different drink and it would just look like a wine bottle. My mom still bloody noticed and asked what I was drinking! I told her it was shloer and just said I was trying to pace myself. Makes sense since I was the bride, possibly not so useful in your situation.