How quickly did you find your feet after DC2?

[marezeedotes]

DC2 is approaching 3 weeks old. DC1 is 4 and in nursery for 2.5 days a week. I am just totally overwhelmed.

For context, we moved across the country when DC2 was 4 days old and are still living among boxes and in chaos really. I don't know anyone here and DH is out the house 8-7 with work. I've had an infection for which I've needed antibiotics, and breastfeeding has been complex and done lots of damage and needed plenty of intervention. DC2 likes to sleep on my chest during the day and not at all at night!

Midwives, HV, and specialist feeding team have been lovely.

But here's the thing. I'm 32. I am an adult and I need to be able to cope with very normal life changes and difficult situations. How quickly did you find your feet after DC2 arrived? Any tips for speeding up that process?

I think you just really need to take your time and adjust the best you can.
Dc2 was born in June this year. I was back out doing the school run a few days later. Everyone commented how they would still be in bed if they were me. I had people I could have asked to help, but I didn't as I felt I had to get on with things for dc1 sake.
Now I think I took on too much at once, ended up with PND and anxiety and should have taken things easier.
So my advice is to take your time adjusting, don't worry about others. Yes the mums on the school run saw me being happy and having my shit together, but all it really was was a brave face.

I would say that around 4-6 weeks things started to get easier. But we were not moving and my dh was home for the first 2-3 weeks and then part time after that for a couple weeks, and even then his usually working day means he's home by 5:30 usually. I also had a relatively easy time bf with my 2nd (horrendously awful with my first).

It sounds like you've had a tremendously stressful few weeks though - stresses that have nothing to do with having just had a baby. A house move, work relocation, illness and a partner who isn't very present would all make having just one older child quite difficult, never mind a new baby.

Is your partner giving you time in the evenings and weekends to rest? If he isn't leaving until 8 every morning, can you catch up on some sleep then. Mine used to get up with baby and our older one and let me get an hour of sleep before he left for work. It really helped in those early days. Same with evenings and weekends. He was walking in circles around the lounge between about 8pm and 1am so I could catch a a stretch or two of sleep around feeds. He's a company director who works like 50-60 hours a week - if he had time and energy to do that, I think anyone can.

The first 6 weeks are a blur. I remember being snappy and finding it hard but not much else. It did get a lot easier from then on then easier again from 3m and much easier again from 6m when baby number 2 could sit.

Really quickly, was back to feeling like myself within a week or two, and my older DS was only 20 months old at the time.

If you want the honest truth, and it won't be popular on here, my top tip was that I didn't breastfeed.