What to buy for husband’s ninety year old nan?

[Spinzy]

My husband’s nan will turn ninety this year and we have absolutely no idea what to buy her. Her birthday is only a few weeks before Christmas so we have a double whammy of ‘no idea what to get’.

She doesn’t drink, she doesn’t particularly like chocolate or sweets or anything rich and is generally quite content and set in her ways with things she already owns. We’ve resorted to buying her toiletries in the past but don’t know whether she even used them. We bought a cashmere scarf another year but have never seen her using it. Last year we bought a potted up basket of winter plants for the garden which she seemed to quite like, but she isn’t particularly into gardening. She leads quite a simple life and doesn’t really like a fuss. She would never tell us she doesn’t like the gifts we’ve bought.

Any good ideas? We always think we’d like to buy her a luxurious little treat sort of item but everything we think of is discounted for some reason.

A pot with a hyacinth bulb in it.

The gift of spending time with her. That would be appreciated much more any gift

If you're going to get her a throw, what about a throw with a photo or picture on it that means something to her? It depends on how much you want to spend, but there are lots of companies out there who do this now, or similar things with pillows and cushions.

Or some audio books if she enjoys being read to?

The best present ever I have given my 83 year old is a monthly delivery of flowers - last Friday of every month. She loves it!!

On her doorstep, beautifully boxed, and such beautiful flowed.

When she gets them, she is then normally on the phone to me for a minimum of x20 minutes describing each type of flower in great detail

I would take her for afternoon tea, quality time with you and your husband at a lovely hotel for afternoon tea.

∙ A nice tea set for afternoon tea
∙ Audi books - DP and I love listening to them on long car journeys
∙ Foot massager
∙ Glasses straps if she wears glasses.
∙ Heated throw and neck wrap
∙ High quality gloves and socks and maybe even a coat/cardigan
∙ If she likes to sit down and knit, a nice rocking chair so she can sit and snooze or knit of whatever
∙ If there were any sweets or favourite foods that your DH’s nan used to have as a child - perhaps you could recreate it or try to source it
∙ Medical alert bracelet
∙ Scrapbook with each member of the family filling a page or two with favourite memories/pics...so her kids, grandkids, DILs etc can all have an input and it’s personalized to her

I was coming on to say photos too. My grandmother wasn’t online so I got permission from everyone in the family to raid their social media accounts, printed off a load of photos & made her an album.

The other present that was a hit was a book of photos of London from the 1930s, when she was growing up there.

Thanks everybody, some great ideas here. We have given her framed photos in the past so that seems out now. We've also done the hard soled slippers. Afternoon tea could be a good idea but she doesn't seem to like eating or drinking very rich things, her meals are generally very plain.

I really like the idea of a photo album from her babyhood onwards but I am worried it might upset her more than anything. Her husband died in his early fifties and my amazing mother in law sadly passed away at a similar age a few years ago. She isn't one to cause a scene so she doesn't talk about how she feels very often but I think it might be hard for he. Digital photo album is out - we collected loads of old family photos onto a digital frame when my mother in law was ill and she absolutely loved it. We offered it to husband's nan, either with or without photos, and offered to upload photos of her choice, but she didn't want it.

She doesn't seem to like flowers since they just die and she thinks it's a waste. She has no books in her flat that I've ever seen so I suspect doesn't particularly enjoy reading. She does live alone and is mobile but now goes out less than she used to because she is unsteady on her feet and has had a few falls. She has a gardener/handyman who regularly comes to deal with the garden and any other jobs. We visit her at least once a week and she lives next door to her best friend. They regularly go on holidays and trips so I think she's quite content. She is financially quite comfortable so could simply buy anything she wanted. Buying more stuff seems silly as she seems to have everything she wants. She doesn't seem to have any hobbies anymore. She has things like an iPad/mobile/video doorbell and is pretty good with tech.

We've invited her on days out before and she turned us down saying she'd recently been there. We live in quite a hilly area and I suspect that is the issue but she didn't want to say. She really hates causing a fuss and is more concerned with everybody else which makes things difficult at times. There have been occasions where we've turned up to visit her and found her with a split lip and two black eyes because she'd had a fall but not told anybody because she didn't want to worry them. I can't imagine her telling us what she would actually like because she'd worry about us "wasting" our money on her! I'll talk some of this over with my husband and see what he thinks as he obviously knows her better. Thanks for all of the ideas.

When my uncle was 90 we bought him a kindle with a keyboard built in. When he realised that it was a radio that received books he was away and lording it over his young neighbour who didn't have one despite having an i-pad etc.

Set him up with an email address on my account, gave it a password of my aunt's name and his dob and gave him a postcard with the idiot's guide to setting up. He read the instructions.....result a hilarious conversion with no hearing aid and me recovering from gall bladder removal by telephone. He's ex-RAF so that's why he read the instructions.......

You could pre-load it with some of her favourite authors and set it up. We couldn't do that with the one we got as he lives in a different country. You could get a kindle subscription, too.

Why not get a couple of theatre tickets for her and her friend next door to use - and maybe arrange a taxi there and back?

Depending of course on where you live - there is a quite small theatre near us, which my aunt and her friend can navigate happily.

Just thinking, does she have any causes she'd be happy to support? You know, sponsor a tiger, sponsor a child here or overseas, help a business in a developing country? What about a charitable donation on her behalf? Or a subscription to something like the Gardeners' World magazine?

A bit worrying on the falls, though - I take it she has emergency buttons and things.

Ahh the friend could be helpful! Do you know her well enough to ask if she has mentioned anywhere she really wants to go any anything she really wants to do.

Does she already have National Trust or English Heritage (if either have accessible properties) membership? Would she enjoy a nice river trip with the friend? Or a trip to the theatre?

If she's already got English Heritage and National Trust, there's also Historic Houses Association, lots of which have gorgeous gardens and many are family-run.

An alexa? She could listen to audio books/ the radio etc?