Hi all,
I’m new here and I’m so confused and unhappy right now.
My husband moved to the UK almost 4 years ago and I feel like he is living off me and has lost respect for the money I earn.
He has been employed on and off. He is now in (very) part time work training to be a plasterer, which is great. But I notice more and more that he spends money with very little regard of how much things cost.
Right now, he doesn’t contribute to any household bills or mortgage and he asks for me to also support his family back home by sending out a few hundred a month.
I’ve noticed that he walks into shops, doesn’t even look at the prices of things, decide what he wants and buys them.
I’ve raised the point so many times in so many different ways that I need him to think about money as if it were his and he had non, but it doesn’t seem to go in and he tries to use my bad behaviours as an excuse to not listen (i.e I don’t do the dishes enough).
This guy isn’t a monster, he’s a really attentive caring person, but his attitude towards money is scary.
Everyone who knows him says ‘lovely guy, just happy for others to take on his responsibilities’.
All my wages cover the bills, savings to work on renovating our house and any leisure.
He’s been out of work for 4 months now.
I can’t even raise the subject without him trying to find ways of pushing it back on me,
I’m close to asking him to leave and go and live in the ‘real world’ so he can learn responsibility fast, but who wants to throw out their husband to prove a point.
I’m really lost and honestly, angry with him... I feel like he uses my well paid job as an excuse to not put in his part.
Other than cutting up his cash cards and refusing to buy him anything , what can I do?
Thanks