Are there household chores/life admin tasks that you hate and your partner takes over sorting?

[ChateauneufDuTwat]

And vice versa, that you sort because your partner hates doing?

I find anything related to car breakdowns/repairs super stressful and ExH used to always sort for me and I was so glad of his help (there were things I'd do same for him - it always felt equal).

I'm now with new partner and am having car trouble which is causing me irrational amounts of stress due to finances/finding garage etc. I'm totally clueless and am worried about being ripped off. I'm going to hopefully get it sorted today but have found DP's attitude interesting. He hasn't offered to drive it to the garage for me (according to manual it's not safe to drive at all) or to come with me and has just left as normal saying he hopes I get it sorted.

Now as a rational, sane and capable adult I know there is no reason why he should help but part of me is disappointed that he hasn't........come to my rescue? As a feminist, even typing that makes me cringe but the feeling is there.

I've always thought relationships involved an element of one person stepping up when the other was struggling, that that's just what you do when you love someone and want to make their life easier. As long as it's reciprocal and appreciated of course.

Am I being a diva?

I won't say anything of course but I feel like it's given me an insight into how our relationship would be if we ever went down the living together/merging lives road.

I love that my husband happily deals with spiders and does all the online ordering.

I perfectly capable of those things, but hate doing them!

I've become a dab hand at spider removal since becoming single but could probably do with someone taking online ordering off me tbh 😆.

Car is in the garage now so hoping for good news 🤞

I can't bear hoovering noises.
Dp hoovers the tumble drier filter (heat pump so it needs to be done quite often).

She has dyscalculia so I do lots of numbersy things.

She can't touch eyeballs and I remember when I had a bug in my eye feeling totally gutted she couldn't help me with it .

In our house I basically give DH the things to do that I don't like doing but that he doesn't mind.

So that's mowing the bins, lawns, vacuuming, I did the first half of sorting out snagging in our new house and then got fed up of it so now he does it.

Going to the Post Office with packages (I sell things on Ebay once no longer wanted). Any trips to the dump (occasional).

If I'm honest I think he'd draw the line at sorting my car out for me because he'd think I was taking the piss in terms of getting him to do things for me. It's an ongoing joke because I do try whenever possible if something is annoying

I hate washing up and vacuuming so very rarely do those chores. My DP likes doing them. I do all the admin stuff and banking as she doesn't care about that. I also do all the washing. Easiest chore ever but she hates it for some reason. I'm off today so doing the washing which actually means pressing a button then watching TV and playing on internet.

The bins, I hate having to take the bins out to the wheelie bin outside so my DP does that however I have to make sure he takes all the bins that need doing because he won't actively go see if any other bin that the kitchen one needs taking out.

I control all the bills, except the internet, because we'd be in a whole heap of mess if I left them up to my DP as he hates speaking on the phone and sitting down to sort things. He however insisted he knew more about the internet so wanted to sort that himself 🤔 if I had control of it we wouldn't have had to wait a month for internet when we moved house but he wouldn't let me get involved 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anything to do with cars or the garden. Also all bill paying. I am the beastie catcher in our house. I do most of the cooking/cleaning/laundry tasks. It works for us.

My DH takes to do with all internet/telly package related stuff, and switching energy suppliers. He enjoys doing that kind of thing, finding the best deals and haggling with Sky/BT. It's a bit of a hobby.
I do sometimes feel a bit pathetic that I'm not involved, to the extent that I often don't know who even supplies our electricity on what tarrif, but he does a great job of it so I don't like to interfere.
I'd get a rude awakening if he got run over by a bus tomorrow!

I won't say anything of course but I feel like it's given me an insight into how our relationship would be if we ever went down the living together/merging lives road.

Surely the message it's given you is that he thinks you're a sane, rational, intelligent adult whose possession of a vagina does not mean that you're any less well equipped to deal with car repairs than he is?

I'm a bit puzzled by the assumptions underlying your post. Maybe your ex was good with cars, and had some clue of what goes on under the bonnet, and your new partner doesn't, so doesn't have anything helpful to add there? Being male doesn't give some magic insight into how to find a good garage and know if you're being ripped off.

And if the manual says it's not safe to drive, surely you should be having it picked up, rather than hoping your partner will offer to accompany you while you drive it to a garage?

I deal with all the financial stuff paperwork for insurance etc DP cooks and deals with car stuff cutting the grass but I’m quite possessive of tidying the house and the way he does it never suits me !

Yes we split chores based on who hates what the most. Yes my dh deals with cars.

I would not allow him to drive my car if it was unsafe and he would discourage me from driving it too. We would arrange for tow truck.

You should have asked for his help, if he assumed you needed help it would be very patronising to a lot of women.

Husband does all admin re insurance banking and cars.any outside work gardening etc.
He works full time self employed.
I do all the housework, cleaning windows, cooking, shopping and sorting birthdays Christmas etc.

I hate all house chores/admin - well I dislike having to do them.... but if I didn't they wouldn't ever get done!
My DH has one job, the bins and he doesn't even do that properly - ie my standards 🙄🤣

We share stuff too. He does Fleet Management, I do care of bodies. (Dentists, feet, his occasional giant eyebrow).
He lifts all heavy things, I make the house a home.
He also does the lions share of the cooking which is nice.

Yes DP makes and changes beds. Takes out the rubbish, Gardening, the drying and putting away of clothes. I could do them but I could also let DP do them because its better for me

I do washing up, general tidying and putting a wash on. We both do food shopping and organising holidays.

I do most stuff around the house as dh works longer hours but I hate hanging stuff on the wall when you have to use drills and plugs, it's such a faff.

DH does all of what I would call household admin. He actually enjoys looking around trying to get things cheaper whilst I find it totally boring.

He also does anything to do with cars or garden .

I hate phoning call centres so dh does that.

Dh also does most of the school organising, arranging playdates and clubs, and taking the bins out.

I do bills & money managment, car stuff (dh doesn't drive), hanging up washing.

Whoever's got the time does the rest of the stuff.

He's not a mind reader; he probably hadn't got a clue that you were a damsel in distress awaiting the knight in shining armour to ride to her rescue. YABVU to expect him to somehow divine that this is what you wanted.

I ask my DH directly. Sometimes "I know I should be able to do this on my own, but I'm really dreading it; could you please come with me?"

Before we moved in together we discussed things we were happy to do / absolutely won't do ever / don't enjoy but can put up with it, and we basically agreed which chores are whose responsibility (and others we share.) It mostly works OK.

He cooks, shops , bins, sweeps leaves,repairs
I do all the house admin, booking of holidays, sorting out of cars , entertainments and all the driving and a lot of the cleaning

Oh yes dh sees to the washing
I quite like doing the washing
He just usually gets there before me