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Don’t know what to do about this date tomorrow

17 replies

TashieWoo · 04/11/2019 23:26

Second date with someone I met online is meant to be tomorrow... we got on v well when we met a couple of weeks ago (I had to cancel the date arranged for last week because of work) and spoke on the phone a few times before we met and since then, with a few texts every day. All good so far and he seems (seemed?) really keen. I haven’t been OTT in the slightest, he is 90% the one to start a conversation.

Tomorrow I have got us tickets (not that expensive) to an activity that I really enjoy that he has always wanted to go to. It was his birthday last weekend and I got myself a big new job last week so it’s a bit of a celebration. He has kept saying how much he’s looking forward to it.

Today I didn’t hear from him all day but that’s ok... he doesn’t always text in the morning. At 8.30pm I messaged him a screenshot of an app you can download re the activity and he hasn’t responded which isn’t like him.

I don’t know whether to just cancel tomorrow and see if I can get a refund, I feel like a bit of a mug really. Any words of advice?

OP posts:
Horsemad · 04/11/2019 23:52

Can you call him tomorrow morning to check everything's still ok for later?

DrEllie · 04/11/2019 23:55

Wait til tomorrow. Something may have come up. Hope all goes well

TashieWoo · 05/11/2019 08:18

Thank you, he did message late last night but I can’t help thinking he was on a date. I know insecurity isn’t attractive but I can’t help it sometimes Sad. I haven’t replied yet.

Of course he is allowed to be dating other people, I just feel like a mug for buying these tickets etc if he’s been on a date with someone else the night before!

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Ohhhthepain · 05/11/2019 08:46

Just take it as an opportunity to do something you enjoy with someone who is decent company. Try to let go of the jealousy gremlins at this stage, it’s very early on.

Bluntness100 · 05/11/2019 08:51

I'm not sure op, he's only met you once, you're pretty much strangers. I think it's ok for him to be seeing other people at this stage. If you were expecting him to be exclusive after one date I don't really think old is for you.

GeneHuntLover · 05/11/2019 08:58

I think it's a bit full on that you bought tickets to something after just one date, maybe he's backing off

TashieWoo · 05/11/2019 09:06

I think to me it is fun to do activities on a date... this is quite a casual one and a good idea for a date I think. It costs about the same as going to the cinema and I didn’t buy them until last week... like I said it’s something I love and something he’s always wanted to do, we mentioned doing this before the first date. No signs of him backing off until last night and he’s messaged twice this morning. I think everything will be ok if I leave my insecurity at home.

OP posts:
JenniferM1989 · 05/11/2019 09:13

It's good that he messaged last night but you didn't reply until this morning. Did he message again this morning before you replied to his one from last night?

TashieWoo · 05/11/2019 09:20

He messaged v late, when I’m usually asleep tbh then messaged earlier than usual this morning, twice, when I was about to message him. I’ve replied now.

OP posts:
Cordial11 · 05/11/2019 09:21

Try not to worry, even if he went on a date . Enjoy yours Smile

AmIThough · 05/11/2019 09:24

Even if he went on another date he still thought about you afterwards. After one date it's not even worth being insecure.

If you're not the kind of person who likes the idea of dating other people (I wouldn't like it!) then maybe mention it and see how he responds.

FFSnotanotherone · 05/11/2019 09:26

What everyone has said!
You owe each other nothing at this stage.
I wouldn't expect to be going exclusive for months yet.

crustycrab · 05/11/2019 10:02

You ignored his message last night and he's maybe spent all night feeling insecure about that, hence his early morning follow up text.

You're assuming he was on a date which isn't really fair of you.

Also, very intrigued as to what this thing could be that requires tickets and he's always wanted to do but only costs a fiver.

TashieWoo · 05/11/2019 10:14

@crustycrab it’s horse racing... costs a bit more than a fiver but not much. Just a casual evening meet at a course down the road from us both.

OP posts:
crustycrab · 05/11/2019 10:23

Ah, thanks. Good luck, hope you come back richer than you left. Definitely leave your insecurities at home

TashieWoo · 05/11/2019 12:50

@crustycrab thank you!

I’m nervous rather than insecure now... first dates don’t really bother me but second ones do for some reason.

OP posts:
WelcomeToGilead · 05/11/2019 14:49

It's only date 2 though and you may have v different ideas of commitment and dating etiquette.. Go, enjoy, be light hearted a d not over invested

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