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Original poster

"They catch everything when they first go to nursery"

27 replies

Inthesickofit · 04/11/2019 16:17

Everyone keeps saying this. However, DS (13 months) has been going to nursery for 6 months now and is ill all the time. On average, he is ill once a fortnight. Since the beginning of September he's had a cold with a fever, a vomiting bug and HFM. He's been having a temperature on and off since Wednesday and we're currently in A&E for the second time in 24 hours (yesterday he had a rash, today his breathing is laboured). Surely this isn't normal?? It's so bad we can't plan anything and it's starting to impact our functioning as a family, never mind our finances. It won't be long before it starts impacting our performance at work too. When will this get better??

OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 04/11/2019 16:33

I experienced the same thing with my eldest dc. I went back to work when he was 10 months old. He went to a nursery 3 half days a week.It was October time, I'd say for the first 18 months to 2 years he had every bug going. Always coughing, snotty, vomitting, hand/foot and mouth etc. I remember driving him him home one day and had never seen someone look so green. However he's now nearly 8 and very healthy with a strong immune system. He did have scarlet fever about a year ago but that's it. I think those years set him up or he's just been lucky. He's had 100% school attendance most years (other than the scarlet fever and a hernia op).
I know it feels like it's never ending but it will get better.

Tiredmum100 · 04/11/2019 16:34

Also sorry to hear your little one is in a&e, hope all is well and a speedy recovery.

Passthecherrycoke · 04/11/2019 16:34

Some children do go through stages of just being poorly, it could just be bad luck. I know how stressful it is though

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mankyfourthtoe · 04/11/2019 16:37

Try a childminder, they'll still be ill but less children to catch bugs off.

redchocolatebutton · 04/11/2019 16:37

wishing a speedy recovery.
unfortunately that sounds very normal and it will get better.

what you can do is:
handwashing
good sleep
good nutrition
exercise (at least one hour a day preferably outside)
vit d3 supplement

museumum · 04/11/2019 16:39

Needing A&E isn’t normal in terms of what people are referring to when they say this about bugs at nursery. You’ve just had bad luck I’m afraid. Hopefully though he is building immunity. HF&M for example they do become immune to.

GrumpyHoonMain · 04/11/2019 16:40

This is normal unfortunately. The best you can do is ensure your emergency childcare plans are sorted and you use any flexi-working arrangements (like work from home).

MunchMunch · 04/11/2019 16:43

I remember when dd started reception 🤦‍♀️ Constant sickness and anything else she could catch from the September until Christmas and then it eased up a bit but still had sickness until the July.

Ds2 was at nursery one day when he caught slapped cheek then again lots of sickness bugs. If I remember rightly he wasn't as bad as dd when he started reception and thankfully over the years never had that amount of sickness again.
However last November they moved schools and day 2 of year 4 ds2 started with the eggy burps and sickness.

They haven't had any sickness since starting year 5 and 7 this year though!

hannah1992 · 04/11/2019 16:43

My dd went to nursery at 2 when I went back to work. I have an older dd who's 8 so she picked up a few cold from her. However starting nursery she was constantly ill with cold. Always had a snotty nose. Then just as we thought wed had a couple of months of good luck she ended up in hospital for 2 days as she had a virus that was affecting her breathing but then 3 days of her being out of hospital she broke out in chicken pox.

Shes almost 4 now and she hasnt been properly ill (not enough to stay off from nursery) since the chicken pox.

(Now I've said that we will get D&V or something)

peachgreen · 04/11/2019 16:50

We had the same thing I'm afraid. All three of us were ill pretty much constantly from February until September. It was GRIM. Hasn't happened this year thankfully (yet!).

redchocolatebutton · 04/11/2019 16:51
peachgreen · 04/11/2019 16:52

Oh we ended up in A&E with DD twice too, once with a high temp and fitting, once with laboured breathing.

Original poster
Inthesickofit · 04/11/2019 16:57

Thanks for the kind messages everyone. We have been in A&E at least 4 times with him (though once was due to a RTA) and GP OOH twice, as well as an ambulance and countless phone calls to 111.

We have an emergency baby sitter (DH has used up almost all his annual leave). Family if possible but they're away a lot/ live abroad. I'm a teacher, so no flexibility and definitely no WFH...

OP posts:
ParadiseLaundry · 04/11/2019 17:00

Actually I was just thinking about this the other day. I realise it's purely anecdotal of course but might be a different perspective. DS also got ill a lot around this age but didn't go to nursery. I had put it down to the fact that it was around the winter time, like we are getting to now and the fact that he reduced his breastfeeds around this time possible meaning less immunity from the milk.

SparkleJoy · 04/11/2019 17:01

We've had the same. For a number of reasons we've just pulled out our 15 month old. This was one of them. She was in nursery for 8 months and was off sick more times than attended, over that period she had 6 doses of antibiotics!

However, we are under peadeatric care and she has other issues that are contributing to this, including a sinus problem.

TheOrigFV45 · 04/11/2019 17:07

When I returned to work after 9 months mat leave DS2 had:
conjunctivitis
suspected chicken pox
D&V x 2

and my Mum died.

I used to dread seeing a notice on the door of the nursery at pick up time. And I wanted to kill the selfish parents who brought their kids in cos 'they've only been sick once'.

It wasn't a great time.

All the best to your little one.

Paddingtonthebear · 04/11/2019 17:13

I think you’ve been very unlucky. My DD was at nursery 2-3 days a week for almost 4 years and wasn’t ill once. She’s now in her third year of school and hasn’t missed a day there either.

I would watch overall cleanliness at your misery though, some are much better at it than others.

Paddingtonthebear · 04/11/2019 17:13

*nursery!

Original poster
Inthesickofit · 04/11/2019 21:31

When I say he's ill once a fortnight, I mean too ill to go to nursery. It really is getting ridiculous. I hate it, but my first thought when he gets poorly now is how much stress it's going to cause and how much money it will cost us, not feeling sorry for him and hoping he'll get better. The week before half term he was off 2 days and we spent 170 pounds on emergency childcare. Another 75 today, and of course the nursery bills still need to be paid. And I keep needing to leave work straightaway at the end of the school day, so I am missing out on 1.5-2 hours of lesson prep etc (those hours are crucial, even though they're technically unpaid - I need them to do my job!)

OP posts:
orangeteal · 04/11/2019 21:38

It really is, I think my second son was out of nursery ill more than he was in it those first few months, it was relentless. By the time they were 3-4ish they had (and still have) iron immune systems, DS2 didn't have a single illness his first term at school, and DS1 had his first day off school ill last year since 2016. All kids have to go through it some time, be in nursery or darting school, nursery means getting it out the way sooner!

orangeteal · 04/11/2019 21:39

Sorry that all sounded cold, just to say HUGE sympathy, it's awful, hang in there, it'll get better I promise!!

slipperywhensparticus · 04/11/2019 21:42

My son didnt make a full week in nursery 🤷‍♀️ its different germs they don't have an immunity to them

Freshers flu is apparently the same thing

megletthesecond · 04/11/2019 21:48

The first year was awful. Like you plans had to be cancelled, I got sick and in trouble at work, my mum caught their germs too. My sister went through the same when hers went to nursery.

FWIW mine have had 100% school attendance most years now.

Blankiefan · 04/11/2019 22:04

I think most kids go thru it. If they don't do it at nursery, it'll be when they start school.

The first year is brutal - we were off loads. It calmed right down after the first year tho.

ASatisfyingThump · 05/11/2019 11:41

It does ease up, though it's horrible at the time. PP mentioned fresher's flu - she's right, it's the same thing, new people and new germs. DH gets the same thing every time he starts a new job (contact centres, hotdesking, it's worse than nursery for spreading germs). If it helps, I've found my youngest has adapted faster because he was exposed to everything my oldest brought home from school, so he'd already had most of it by the time he started nursery. Wasn't fun at the time coping with two sick kids, but at least now it's pretty rare for either of them to get so sick they have to stay off.