Divorce, kids, finances and logistics!

[arethereanyleftatall]

I'm hoping some posters would be prepared to share how they 'managed' getting divorced. And interested to know what anyone would do in mine.

My situation.
'Split up' from stbxh about 2 months ago, after I found out he'd continued the affair he swore he stopped two years previously. I'm actually quite happy now and excited for the future as I realised that we've just been bumbling along for years and affair is simply catalyst to move on.
2 children 9 & 11. Him main breadwinner (£100k salary), me childcare/housework plus a little bit of part time work (£8k salary). It's been fair contribution wise. He pays for mortgage £2k month, plus all bills £500, plus puts £1k per month in my account as I pay for food plus all kids stuff.
We initially decided to coparent, as on a day to day basis we always have gotten on fine. So, he moved in to the spare room, and was out at least two days a week in hotels (he works quite far away). Both of us welcome to discreetly have new relationships. Kids know we've split up, but their lives haven't really changed so far. The reason we decided to coparent was finances, kids, plus logistically as our lives are full of activities for all 4 of us and is so much easier with 2 pairs of adult hands. Stbxh and I have worked well in the past at managing this.
However;
2 months down the line I hate it when he's here. He might possibly buy an investment flat near by, but that's just throwing away what £2k per month of what will be the kids pot. My friends are saying I need to get something written down in finances, or get on with divorce; if he just walks out now, we can't afford to live here. Kids will be heartbroken if he moves out.
Wwyd?

A lift strategy won’t work, but a life one would!

As pp says, you can ask for more than the CMS and a 50/50 split. A good solicitor will help you.

Just be aware that whatever is agreed for child maintenance can be varied a year after the order is signed, so you’ll need to work with your solicitor on what steps you could take to minimise this (eg you take larger portion of house equity and pension in return for lower monthly child maintenance payments, you have more in spousal maintenance etc).

Thank you everyone. I've decided;

1. Face reality that something has to give
2. Legal/solicitor advice
3. Get financial settlement/divorce settlement in place before things turn sour or either of us moves on.

It sounds like a good plan. I don't think banking your future on his income anyway is a good strategy. A friend did similar and then her ex became ill, left his high earning job and can't work again. It has totally screwed her as she had banked on a certain amount of maintenance.

Better to have a clean break, your own homes and a percentage of his pension really. It also stops awkwardness if he marries again or has more children. Due to his income I imagine the courts will help with financial bits and setting it all out clearly.

Good luck op