Addressing issues with colleague

[AureliaHavisham]

Have name changed for this. I am exhausted and have being trying to write this all morning.

New colleague has mental health issues (anxiety and social anxiety disorder), I also have depression, anxiety and panic attacks so 100% understand how crippling it is. My problem is that every day I see her she mentions it in one way or the other, she is always looking for sympathy and as much as I want to get on with her and not be rude she is making me more anxious and I want to avoid her but can't.

She feels that she should be giving more leeway because she has these problems and I do not want to get into a debate over who has it worse because I know for anyone with mental health problems that at times it can be horrendous. She is also late and disorganised, can never remember what shift she is on, even though she takes a photo like everyone else so it is on her phone.

I also know (and now to the point of the name change) that at the moment I am hyper sensitive as it is nearly the anniversary of my sister's death by suicide, so I don't know if I am being completely irritational and need to just keep my head down for the next few weeks until the anniversary is over and I am not so emotional or whether to address the situation with her and if so, how?

Sorry was meant to add that we have worked together for a couple of month.

Speak to your manager, not the colleague. It sounds to me as though you need some support and speaking to the colleague could open a can of worms and potentially cause a row.

I would wait until you feel calmer and the intensity of the anniversary has subsided

That’s a hard situation. I have a colleague who is always moaning that she feels ill. Even if you smile at her, you get a pained expression and a whine in response. It is incredibly draining. I don’t know what advice to offer, other than avoiding them as much as possible, which is what I do.

Speak to your manager about how you can be supported, not about your colleague.

Your colleague's condition may be classed as a disability (as may yours, depending on how it affects you). She can expect reasonable adjustments to be made by the employer (emphasis on reasonable). She can expect to be able to talk about her condition if she wishes to. To treat her detrimentally because of her condition would be discrimination and potentially bullying, whether it's intentional or not.

You're not unreasonable in acknowledging that lots of talk about mental health is making you feel bad, but this needs to be something the employer supports you with, not asks the other person to shut up about it.

I'm not for a minute suggesting your intention is to bully or discriminate, but that is a judgment for the disabled person, not the person doing the bullying.

It's something that needs to be managed by management, not you.

I would talk to your manager and then try to avoid contact with her as much as you can until the anniversary has passed.